by Kristi Leckband
Dear Reader, I have been hesitant to share this post with you because I know the suffering so many of you have endured. I know that what I write here will make you sad for what the Lord has not given to you. You will likely mourn a heavy absence in your heart. I write these things, though, because you are loved, and I want you to see that there is still joy in the Lord, whether in suffering or in celebration.
There were days and months when I wasn’t sure I’d get to open my home to children, even grandchildren. I prayed and hoped for both for a really long time. I knew there was nothing in me that was deserving of children or grandchildren. I was, and still am, a poor, miserable sinner, which means nothing was owed to me.
Like you, I prayed for YEARS to be given children. I know the tears that have soaked your pillow at night, for my pillow was just as wet. I recall the quietness of a dinner table rather than the noisiness of children’s conversations. I remember well the empty bedrooms. You have also been gracious to share in my suffering. You waited with me as we prayed to grow our family. You mourned with me as year after year passed without adding another child in my home. I was comforted, knowing that you were praying with me.
And now I invite you to share in celebration with me. I love you, dear sister in Christ, and I want you to know that there is great joy in my life as well. The Lord has been merciful to me. He has given me children. He has also been gracious and granted my daughter a husband. Together, they have been blessed with a child. I have a grandchild! Believe me when I say that I am humbled to be called Grandma. That vocation is not one I take lightly. It is a great honor, and I pray that I’ll be called that for many years by many little voices.
When my daughter went into labor, it was my son-in-law who called and said, “Come.” He didn’t have to say that. However, this young couple wanted me to share in their joy. I packed up my vehicle in less than two hours and started driving. It was the shortest 11-hour drive of my life.
It was thrilling to spend the next ten days with this newly formed family of three. I went into full mom-mode and cooked up a storm of food. I did laundry. I went grocery shopping for the new parents. I took the 6:00am baby shift every morning and held the little guy while I took picture upon picture of him. I was blessed to spend hours talking with my daughter and son-in-law, uninterrupted. I loved my time with all three of them.
Family members came to visit. My parents drove a full day to meet their first great-grandchild. Generational pictures were snapped. More grandparents arrived to meet the newest addition. My husband and two younger children came for baptism day. Talk about rejoicing! This infant sinner was now cleansed of all sins and washed clean in the blood of Jesus Christ! Could we have asked for any greater gift?
I look forward to making more memories with my family. Our family now includes a grandchild. The Lord has blessed us richly. My family members are baptized children of God, and they belong to Him. I love every one of them and am so thankful they are given into our care as well. I treasure the memories that they are giving me.
I don’t know what my grandchildren will remember about me. I hope they will remember that my home was one in which Christ was the center. I hope my grandchildren will hear me confess my confidence in the promises of the Lord. I hope my grandchildren will recall the hymns that were sung during morning and evening prayers. I hope my grandchildren will remember that I love them and that they are gifts to me from the Lord.
And even if the Lord hadn’t made me a grandma, I would hope that all who enter my home would know that it was one in which Christ was the center. I hope that my guests would hear me confess my confidence in the promises of the Lord. I hope my friends would recall the hymns that were sung during morning and evening prayers. I hope my family would remember that I love them and that they are gifts to me from the Lord.
That is this grandma’s hope.
