IVF

A Bit of Overdue Recognition

Sabre of BoldnessThis evening, at the annual Gottesdienst party that took place as part of symposia week at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind., our very own Katie Schuermann received the Sabre of Boldness award. She is the first woman and first layperson to ever win the award. Here is the reason she was nominated:

Mrs. Schuermann is author of the book He Remembers the Barren, and had spoken to groups of women burdened like her with the affliction of barrenness. In the course of these meetings she soon found herself hearing from women who had turned to in vitro fertilization as a last resort to ease their pain. In spite of the sensitive nature of the matter, she felt constrained to tell the truth in love about the unacceptability of in vitro fertilization. For us who know that life begins at conception, there is really no ethical alternative than to reject in vitro fertilization, in whose process fertilized embryos are always discarded. For her to have the courage to say so in such circumstances, and to speak up for life, for which she has endured much grief and rejection, is commendable.

The award was presented by the Rev. Chaplain Jonathan Shaw and the Rev. Dr. Burnell Eckardt, editors of Gottesdienst: The Journal of the Lutheran Liturgy.

Congratulations Katie!! I’m sure your readers would like to give you a standing ovation to further honor your work. Thank you for all you do!

The Downton Abbey Dilemma

Downton AbbeyI’m a Downton Abbey addict. I don’t really watch prime time television at all, you see, except that someone turned me onto this PBS Masterpiece series from Great Britain a few years ago and I just love, love, love it. But there wasn’t really ever a good reason to blog about this passion on a site about barrenness–until now.

This past week’s episode included a scene where Lady Mary is discussing how to change the home’s old nursery into a sitting room for herself and her new husband Matthew. Matthew, who heard that Lady Mary had been to see the doctor recently, gently touches his wife’s arm and, with a twinkle in his eye, wants to know when they should possibly be thinking about using the nursery as a nursery (as if she had some kind of control over this in 1920). Lady Mary nervously shrugs off his comment and casually replies, “Oh, there will be time enough for that later.” In true Downton Abbey form, this brief exchange foreshadows a new storyline that will inevitably take more shape in upcoming episodes. The audience is left to ponder these two questions: 1) Is Lady Mary embarrassed that she is not yet pregnant after being married for several months now? or 2) Is Lady Mary not particularly interested in having children and knows that this attitude will not sit well with her husband?

The dilemma that I face is that I may never know the answers. This is a difficult pill for an addict to swallow.

Why can’t I just tune in next week and the week after to find out? No, my TV is not broken, nor do I have any social responsibilities scheduled for Sunday nights. It’s because the producers of the show have decided to reintroduce the fact that one of the servants is gay, and his sexuality (which was implied but rather brushed over at the beginning of the series) is now going to be featured as a storyline. In watching some interviews with the cast on YouTube I discovered a little more about what’s to come, seeing as how there is a new and rather attractive footman who’s joined the show who has caught the eye of more than just the housemaids. There won’t just be talk anymore about homosexuality. There will be scenes. Downton Abbey is about to join the rest of prime time’s sleazy line-up.

The thing that gets me is that one of the main reasons I adored the show was because it takes place during an era where honor, integrity, and morality were thought of highly. Of course it wouldn’t be modern television if some of the characters didn’t fall from grace, but these indiscretions were not shown, and there was regret and embarrassment after the fact. There was confession and forgiveness demonstrated within the family. I found that refreshing. So refreshing, in fact, that the disgust over the upcoming storyline is not enough to make me truly want to wash my hands of the whole program. I keep pondering the other storylines and it kills me when I think about not being able to follow them. This is what addiction means.

I’m finding that these kinds of dilemmas are becoming more common for the modern Christian, and because there is so much good wrapped up with a little bit of filth, we often feel it’s ridiculous to make such a fuss. Take for instance a mother of an only son who loves him so dearly and wants so desperately to keep peace within her family that she bites her tongue when he announces that he is living with his girlfriend. It’s not what she would have wanted and she knows it’s not right, but he’s such a good son and a responsible young man, etc. They’ll probably get married anyway.  Or what about the father whose daughter has suffered for so long with barrenness that he sees no point in asking too many questions when she announces that she is pregnant following an IVF procedure. He wouldn’t have recommended this procedure, but she hadn’t asked for his advice and the procedure is over so why bring it up? Afterall, a child is on the way!

Living the Christian life is hard. Having an active conscience is stressful. It makes you unpopular and you often feel like you’re missing out on the fun. Don’t think I haven’t tried to find ways around this problem. It’s very possible that Downton Abbey may not focus on the gay servant next week. I don’t know when this is going to happen. I might be able to get a few more episodes in. I could find a friend whose conscience is not so burdened and ask for the summaries after each episode to make sure I know what’s going on. Or I could find the summaries online somewhere, I’m sure.

Such are the musings of an addict.

As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions (addictions??) of your former ignorance, but as he who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct, since it is written, “You shall be holy, for I am holy.” And if you call on him as Father who judges impartially according to each one’s deeds, conduct yourselves with fear throughout the time of your exile, knowing that you were ransomed from the futile ways inherited from your forefathers, not with perishable things such as silver or gold, but with the precious blood of Christ, like that of a lamb without blemish or spot. 1 Peter 1:14-19 ESV

Wow. I’ve been “ransomed from the futile ways” of my forefathers “with the precious blood of Christ.” This is vivid imagery. And speaking of imagery, I know that, just as I ponder all the possible outcomes of the innocent storylines of Downton, if I keep watching this show I will be thinking about all the storylines, and those scenes that are inevitably coming will be imprinted on my mind. Do I want to be thinking about these things?

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. Philippians 4:8 ESV

If I find out that the offending storyline ends at some point soon, I may make my way back to the Abbey. I know there is a season 4 coming up. Perhaps there’s still hope. In the meantime, I’ll have more time to read on Sunday evenings I guess. Oh, but how I will miss them all!

The Sarah Syndrome

God promised childless Abraham that He would provide him an heir, a son of his own, and that Abraham’s offspring would number as many as the stars in the heaven. Abraham believed the promise of the LORD, and God counted it to him as righteousness.

Sarah, on the other hand, struggled to believe the promise.

She looked at her eighty-plus-year-old husband and her own, barren womb and saw only impossibility. How could God provide an heir through their cockamamie, one-flesh union? No, if they were going to have offspring that numbered as many as the stars in the heaven, they were going to need to take matters into their own hands. They were going to need to find a solution outside of their marriage union – outside of God’s promise.

But, what to do? IVF was not an option then. There were no fertility specialists to whom she could submit her husband’s semen for analysis. Plastic hadn’t been invented, yet, let alone those syringe-y thingies that could shoot Abraham’s seed closer to the target. There were no sperm banks she could consult for finding a tall, dark, and handsome brain surgeon to father her children. Nope, surrogacy was the best answer she could devise, so Sarah gave Hagar, her Egyptian slave, to her husband for impregnating.

And, he did.

The result? Marital trouble, broken relationships, agony, chaos, suffering, grief, and Ishmael, a wild donkey of a man who would beget a whole people born into slavery.

That’s what happens when we believe in the work of our own hands rather than in the promises of God. We create more slavery – slavery to sin, slavery to self, slavery to idols, slavery to the consequences of our actions, and, in Sarah’s case, literally more slaves.

I think we all suffer from Sarah Syndrome to some degree. When we grow restless in our barrenness, when we wait on the LORD for deliverance from our affliction, that is when the symptoms begin to show. The anxiety. The coveting. The self-entitlement. The spouse-loathing. The disbelief. We start visiting doctors who advocate for practices that break commandments of the LORD. We succumb to the advice of the roaring women around us and try to be fruitful and multiply outside of the one-flesh union God designed for procreation. We start looking around for some Hagars to give us the children we want and think we deserve.

And then, like Sarah, we despair when the work of our hands comes to fruition. For, we the baptized know deep down inside that God will give us a child if it be according to His will – not from a petri dish, not from a surrogate, not from the work of our own hands, but from the mysterious, one-flesh union God designed from the beginning of time or from the gift of adoption He so perfectly demonstrates for us in His Word. If God does not give us the gift of children through these blessed means, then we can be assured that it is for the best. He is working our childlessness for our good, and we can confidently rest in God’s guarantee of that goodness as He proclaims it in Scripture. “The Lord giveth, and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the the name of the Lord.”

Maybe you have already acted out on your Sarah Syndrome and feel ashamed. In Christ, sister, be at peace and take joy in this good news:

In spite of all of Sarah’s disbelief, in spite of her meddling, in spite of her laughing and lying, God still kept His promise to her and to Abraham. God visited Sarah years later, long after her menses had ceased, and she finally conceived and bore Isaac, a son and heir from whose family line would eventually come Jesus, the Savior of the world.

In keeping His promise to Sarah, God was actually keeping His promise to save you; and, in believing this promise, God counts it to you as righteousness.

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Not a blessed, one-flesh union in the bunch.

Campaigning

I am on a campaign to reclaim the words which have been abandoned in our present society’s fertility lexicon.

Even when it makes people uncomfortable, even when it sets me apart from the world, I am going to continue using the word barren in place of infertile, child in place of embryo, and blessing in place of burden. 

Why? Because these are the words God uses in Holy Scripture when talking about procreation. These words mean something to me as a baptized Christian. They communicate the truth about life and death in Christ, and they acknowledge the Creator who wonderfully formed me in my mother’s womb. These words even work a miracle in me: they preserve and sustain my faith in the One who has closed my own womb when the world’s lexicon would have me despair.

So, I am going to speak and write these words frequently, even if they seem archaic or naive or politically incorrect or whatever.

I am Katie Schuermann, and I approve this message.

Do We Remain Silent?

Question submitted: Some members of our family gave birth to their children through IVF. Throughout their IVF journey there was grief, despair, and much sorrow both at the loss of several children/embryos as well as family members who did not necessarily approve of their decision to move forward with IVF. As IVF has become such a common practice, how can Christians and Christian family members express their concern without being seen as unloving, uncaring and just plain ignorant? In their view we just didn’t “get infertility” and we had children of our own so we truly didn’t understand their pain and suffering. Secondly, now that they have brought children into the world there is much joy and happiness throughout our entire family. But the one thing that continues to weigh heavy on my heart is the children/embryos that are currently frozen. Should we as Christian family members question when these children will be brought into the world or do we just remain silent now that there is finally family unity? I will tell you that during their IVF treatments there was so much unrest because some family members condoned their IVF treatments and others did not.

Dear friend, you have just given our readers a first-hand account of the heartache and conflict that IVF can bring to a family. And this is happening in Christian families everywhere, touching those who live the faster-paced lifestyles in the major cities as well as the “family values” farming communities in the Midwest. On our speaking tours, Katie and Kristi and I have talked to many women and other family members who, like you, are at a loss as to how to address this huge mess that has spilled out of a couple’s seemingly innocent desire to have a child. Lord, have mercy!

Your question has two main parts and I want to address them separately.

1. “How can Christians and Christian family members express their concern without being seen as unloving, uncaring and just plain ignorant?”

I know that it is often hard for fertile family members to reach out to their barren loved ones. But I think that in the case where IVF is being discussed it is absolutely vital for families, churches and pastors to pray for courage to address this with a couple. It is because you love them that you desire to steer them away from the temptation to fall into sin—namely the sin against the 5th Commandment where they would most certainly (not might, not could) be hurting or even killing their “neighbor” (the embryos/children that are discarded or frozen as a result). And it is your love for God that propels you to boldly share His Word about this kind of sin with the couple, believing that the Word is powerful and can change hearts. Approach your family members with the genuine compassion that you’ve expressed and confidently share with them these thoughts:

a. Some of our previous posts on IVF lay out what can happen during IVF and why Christians should abandon this option.

b. The various resources listed on this site (particularly Dr. Weise’s article and this Issues, Etc. show) are filled with wisdom, Scripture references, and more reasons not to engage in the procedure.

c. Scripture calls children a reward, a gift, intricately woven, formed and knitted together by our Heavenly Father (Psalm 127:3 and 139:15). When the vast majority of IVF procedures end in the freezing or killing off of unwanted children, then we are not viewing them as rewards, gifts, and specially created beings who were meant to be born, baptized, and raised in the Christian faith (Exodus 20:13).

d. Don’t let the fact that you are fertile prevent you from speaking the truth in love to your barren family. They need to realize that the pain of barrenness does not justify treating living human beings as IVF treats them.

2. “The one thing that continues to weigh heavy on my heart is the children/embryos that are currently frozen. Should we as Christian family members question when these children will be brought into the world or do we just remain silent now that there is finally family unity?”

Thank you for acknowledging the lives that still exist as a result of this couple’s actions. You are very aware that this couple has multiple children now, though most of them have not been born. Can there truly be family unity now when parts of the family are frozen and deserted? Since these children are your relatives, too, you see that they are not being cared for as they should and I think you have every right to bring this to the attention of the parents. Please do encourage and attempt to influence your family members to recognize that those tiny human embryos are really children who must be rescued. The couple made the conscious decision to conceive these children—which made them parents—and the Bible has much to say about the responsibility that comes with parenting:

a. We are to have compassion on our children, which results in loving them and caring for all their needs (Psalm 103:13, Matthew 7:11).

b. We are to teach our children about God’s Law, love, and promises (Deuteronomy 4:9 and 6:7, Psalm 78:4, Proverbs 22:6, Ephesians 6:4).

c. We are not to do anything that would keep our children from knowing Jesus or that would tempt them away from him (Matthew 18:5-7 and 19:14).

d. We are to have our children baptized (Matthew 28:19-20, Acts 16:30-33) after they have been born (John 3:3-5).

 When parents allow their children to be frozen and to remain in this state they cannot carry out these responsibilities. The goal of your discussion with your family members is repentance, a change of mind. If they do indeed repent and as a result want to “bear fruits in keeping with repentance” (Luke 3:8), then it would be good to help them to do so.

And here is where it gets really hard. There is no easy way to undo the wrong that has been done. The hard truth is that this couple is morally obligated to parent all these children that they have made, meaning they should plan to implant all of the frozen embryos. This would likely take several procedures to achieve, each costing several thousands of dollars, and in the process several lives will probably be lost. I wish there was an easier way but I do not know of any. IVF is such a tangled mess that it is extremely difficult and very costly to try to make amends. That is why we choose to address this topic so much on this blog. We seek not only to show love to children by promoting procreation the “traditional” way, but we seek to show love to the desperate couple who is contemplating this procedure. Our goal is to spare them and their family members from having to make the extreme sacrifices that are necessary in order to take full responsibility for all the children conceived in IVF. The amazing power of Christ’s forgiveness, applied to the repentant heart, repairs our broken relationship with God and renews our ability to stand before him as righteous, cleansed and cherished children. This is true family unity. But in this earthly life there are still consequences for sin and these are often a very heavy burden. If you find that your family members are ready to confess the mistakes of their past, embrace them with your love and Christ’s, and do what you can to help them bear what lies ahead as they attempt to care for all their children.

Is IVF Healing Medicine?

I am an advocate of healing medicine, both traditional and nontraditional.

I daily take prescription medication to keep my already overactive pancreas from kicking out more insulin into my bloodstream. I then supplement my medication with lots of exercise and a low-glucose diet.

My most recent venture into healing medicine involved a short round of hormone therapy to help my doctor properly diagnose several masses that were growing in my abdomen. I then underwent surgery to remove a batch of endometriomas and accompanying scar tissue from around my colon, bladder, and ovaries. Next, came a six-month regimen of Lupron shots to kill off the residual scar tissue my doctor had to leave behind, and, on top of that, I now eat a mostly pescetarian (vegan with fish) diet on top of my low-glucose fare to avoid environmental hormones, additives, preservatives, gluten, and nutrients which may cause inflammation in my body.

In other words, I prefer my medical cocktail as follows: one part traditional, two parts nontraditional, shaken with ice, and then straight down the hatch.

Why am I over-sharing all of this with you? I want to make it clear that I am a champion of healing medicine. I believe it is part of the daily bread God provides for us and that it is good and right to try to make the body whole. I believe that we are free in Christ to take medicine and to undergo diagnostic tests and to have surgeries and to train for triathlons and to sit for acupuncture treatments and to avoid dairy (Oh, wretched cross that I bear!) and to drink liquified kale for the healing purposes of our flesh.

However.

Like the Apostle Paul, I believe that my freedom in Christ, whether applied to medicine or to circumcision or to meat-eating or to whatever, is intended by God to serve my neighbor, not myself.

“For you were called to freedom, brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:13 (ESV)

We are totally free in Christ to seek healing medicine in our barrenness, but that freedom is still intended to serve our neighbor, even the little neighbor we hope to conceive in our womb. For this reason, I do not consider in vitro fertilization (IVF) to be healing medicine, nor do I consider it to rest safely within the realm of Christian freedom.

IVF does not simply seek to make the body whole, but it seeks to create children for our own purpose and use, whether that be cherishing, rejecting, discarding, freezing, or even killing. This is not using our Christian freedom to serve our neighbor. It is using our freedom to serve ourselves at the expense of our neighbor.

Let me draw a clear picture for you. When children are created in a petri dish during IVF, those children have no rights of their own. They, at the whim of the parent*, can be:

  • graded by appearance for their viability,
  • genetically tested for their sex, chromosomal abnormalities, and diseases,
  • discarded (in some cases, literally flushed down the drain) for their potential flaws,
  • put on ice to be stored, used, adopted, donated, tested, or killed at the parent’s leisure,
  • inserted into potentially inhospitable conditions in utero,
  • and, if part of a multiple pregnancy, selectively terminated and sacrificed for the vitality of a perceived stronger brother or sister in the womb.

IVF does not serve these children (our neighbors!) through love, but, at best, disrespects the personhood of the children created, and, at worst, serves as the concentration camp of the fertility industry.

Please be certain, it is the procedures surrounding IVF, not the children that result, that I am calling into question. As I wrote in my book, “Whatever sin and controversies may surround IVF, the children that are conceived and born to us through such procedures are still a heritage from the Lord. These children do not cease to be blessings and gifts from God simply because of the method by which they were conceived. We are not to think of these children as anything less than human beings who are wanted and cherished by our Lord. God’s love is what makes any and every child valuable in this life, not the means of parentage. Whatever decisions and actions parents may regret, the children that result from such decisions and actions are to be celebrated as the precious treasures that they are.” (He Remembers the Barren, 44-5)

Dear sisters, you may have already made use of IVF thinking that it was healing medicine. You may feel confused, angry, even guilty, right now. Do not despair! Your help is in the name of the Lord, who made heaven and earth. (Psalm 124:8) Christ, the Lamb of God, takes away the sin of the world. “Repent therefore, and turn again, that your sins may be blotted out, that times of refreshing may come from the presence of the Lord.” (Acts 3:19-20a ESV) Confess your regrets to your pastor to receive the peace of absolution, and let it be done to you as you believe.

* A frozen child’s right to life can also be at the whim of a government or a divorce court judge.

Insemination Contemplation

Question Submitted: I am overwhelmed with the options out there for couples dealing with infertility.  My husband and I are embarking on an IUI cycle this month which will include clomid, menopur, and hCG. I feel like there is a lack of information available regarding treatment options outside of IVF.  I know where my beliefs stand on this, but the other options are pretty fuzzy for me. I feel pretty confident in my decision since it will not involve selecting good/bad embryos, but I still wonder where that line is regarding going beyond God’s plans and trying to take matters into your own hands.

Fuzzy. I think that’s a key word in your question. You’re absolutely right about there being a lack of clarity within our Christian circles about fertility treatment options. I applaud you for seeing clearly that IVF is not an option and for loving your neighbor by avoiding this process. But what about the other methods? Aside from the herbal or pharmaceutical treatments that can be taken to simply help with ovulation, the other options really revolve around the donation of sperm and the injection of that sperm into the womb, otherwise known as insemination.

“I still wonder where that line is…” you confess. Don’t we all? My husband and I dealt with this, too, as you can read about in a previous post, How Close Can We Get? But here’s a quick summary: we don’t know for sure where that line is. The Bible, which gives us God’s Law-those clearly drawn lines that are unmistakable-does not discuss IUI’s or GIFT or Clomid. As with many other modern scientific possibilities, Christians have to use what the Bible does give us in order to help guide our ethical decisions. I really think the post just mentioned is the best answer to your broader question, but I will try and unpack some of the other specifics here.

There are a couple of aspects to consider when looking at insemination procedures.  First, there’s the fact that sperm needs to be collected. Second, conception would occur outside the act of intercourse. Both of these are a big deal and need to be taken seriously. The sperm collection topic will be addressed in a future post since there is so much to cover with that one (yes, the Bible does actually have something to say about this!). Let’s take a look at the second aspect.

The truth is, there just isn’t a unified opinion among conservative church bodies, including the Lutheran Church-Missouri Synod, about the necessity of intercourse for conception. The majority say that insemination, while done between a married couple, in no way violates their one-flesh union. They are using the broad definition, of course, that the union is the joining together of a man and a woman in a sexually faithful relationship for life. Narrowly speaking though, during insemination there is no physical union of fleshes at all. And it’s for that reason that the idea has always made me and my husband uncomfortable.

“You mean my husband and I don’t even have to touch each other and we can conceive a baby?” I remember thinking when we first looked into all those treatments. I had always thought the biblical references to our patriarchs “knowing” their spouses and then conceiving was so romantic. “Know” is such a great biblical word. It covers more than just the modern definition of sex, which so often occurs now between two people who have just met and don’t even know each other’s last names. I believed that “knowing” involved all those wonderful things that marriage should be: shared interests, shared faiths, shared experiences, a shared name, and shared bodies. This “knowing,” this union, was supposed to combine these two separate beings to produce another flesh, a child.

I realize that this romantic idea of my husband and I producing a miniature version of ourselves as a result of our physical love is probably never going to happen. But the desire to make that dream come true has never been strong enough to drive us to remove the physical aspect from the “knowing” of each other in order to achieve the end goal.

There isn’t a commandment about this. As I mentioned, most pastors would probably say that my conscience is over-active. But when you go against your conscience you are sinning, regardless of whether the action you are doing is, in fact, sinful. “I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself, but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean,” Romans 14:14, and “For whatever does not procede from faith is sin,” Romans 14:23. The study note in my Bible explains these verses further: “If one’s conscience is not clear before God regarding certain behaviors, one dare not engage in them,” (TLSB pg. 1938).

“I feel pretty confident in my decision…” A decision as big as this needs to be made without a nagging conscience and with the support of your pastor. If you aren’t able to get both of these, pray for strength to step back and re-evaluate your options. And if you’re not sure what to pray, just open your hymnal.

Oh, that the Lord would guide my ways,

To keep His statues still!

Oh, that my God would grant me grace

To know and do His will.

Order my footsteps by Thy Word

And make my heart sincere;

Let sin have no dominion, Lord,

But keep my conscience clear.

Lutheran Service Book, hymn 707, verses 1 & 2

The Cross of Barrenness

What is the cross of barrenness? Surely it is one of loss and death and grief, but many in the church don’t realize that the cross of barrenness is also one of warring against the world’s religion of control. The world expects us to manage and control our fertility, so, naturally, that same world also expects us to manage and control our infertility – never mind whether or not we really can.

It is not uncommon for friends, even strangers, to school me in this art of control, this “sure science” of making a baby. A woman standing behind a school lunch counter once told me, “Be sure to keep your cervix lifted for at least thirty minutes after intercourse.” A lady at a party said to me in front of a circle of friends, “Your husband could be shooting blanks. Get his sperm’s motility checked out.” A stranger sitting to my left at a women’s luncheon leaned over and announced during the main course, “My daughter was infertile, but she finally had a baby last spring through In Vitro Fertilization. You should go to her doctor.” A woman at a local farmer’s market stopped me to tell me that taking her suggested brand of vitamin supplements would even out my hormone levels and result in a pregnancy.

I don’t know what to say in return to those who publicly offer advice on sexual techniques or medically misdiagnose my husband’s fertility or tell me to engage in medical procedures that break the First and Fifth Commandments of my Lord. Giving a verbal response to those comments feels like I am somehow validating the very existence of them. If I share with the woman at the market that my hormone levels are already stable, then I am engaging her in conversation about something that is so personal and painful. I am inviting her to continue making suggestions and diagnoses and comments about my barrenness. I am giving her permission to continue trying to find a fix for my problem. I am handing her the salt well and telling her to rub it in my open wound. So, instead of telling her the truth, I simply thank her for her advice, and I keep walking. Then, I go home, and I cry.

I cry, because every time a well-meaning person tells me how to make a baby, I am tempted to believe that I can control my barrenness, that my present childlessness is my own doing, my own fault. I must be doing something wrong. I must be missing a key nutrient in my diet; I must be exercising too much or too little; I must have high levels of prolactin or low levels of progesterone; I must not be producing enough Type E mucus to sustain the lives of the sperm in my uterus; I must not be going to the right doctor. I must, I must, I must. When a well-meaning person makes suggestions to me in my pain and grief, I feel the weight, the burden, the law of my barrenness fully on my own shoulders.

Yet, I cannot control my barrenness. I know this, because God tells me in His Word that children are a heritage from Him – a gift – and that good gift is received, not manufactured or made. God is the Giver, and I am the receiver. And, at the end of the day, my faith must believe what God tells me in His Word, not what the woman tells me at the market.

Here We Come!

Won’t you come out and meet us?

Rebecca Mayes and I, God willing, are getting behind the wheel next Tuesday in hopes of meeting YOU. We will be presenting on the topic “Caring for the Barren Woman” at Concordia University Chicago, Concordia Theological Seminary, and various churches in Michigan and Indiana. And – Best of all! – my husband is coming with us. Rev. Michael Schuermann will be available to answer any questions you may have regarding how to care for the barren man.

Location and presentation details can be found here.

If you would like any of the HeRemembersTheBarren.com hosts to present “Caring for the Barren Woman” at a church near you, please let us know via the “Submit a Question” page on this website.

We can’t wait to meet you!

* Photo by Adriane Dorr