It’s not something I think about very often, nor do I talk about it.

Maybe I’m in denial, or maybe my brain simply can’t put the cold reality into actual thoughts and words.

Honestly, whenever the thought has crossed my mind, I usually tell myself that I am not worthy to join in on the conversation. After all, I don’t have any positive pregnancy tests to wave around as proof, but, then, I don’t keep any on hand to take.

Still, it feels like I am living a lie to assume such things.

But, at our retreat last weekend, Dr. Gosser kindly and gently affirmed the reality I know to be true deep down inside. Those unusually heavy periods, those times my post-ovulation cycle stretched beyond the normal 12-14 days, were probably miscarriages.

I have been married eleven years.

All my children.

My only comfort is that God is wise in His giving. “The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away; blessed be the name of the Lord.”