by Katie Schuermann
In all my years of barrenness, I knew never to enter my doctor’s office alone. Jesus always came with me, and so I never bore the pain nor the panic nor the problems apart from His wisdom and support. Always, His wise Word was at hand to guide me and to bless me.
If ever I was unsure of what to think of any particular assisted reproductive technology offered to me by my doctor, I knew that I didn’t need come to a conclusion about it that same minute. In fact, rushing any big decision into a 15-minute time slot seemed unwise. Surely, Christ’s wisdom in praying “not my will, but Yours, be done” shapes my own understanding of the importance of pausing and praying and considering God’s role in all matters concerning life and death.
And so, I would tell the doctor, “Thank you for caring for me. I know you are giving me your best advice. I would like to take a few days to talk to my husband and think about it and pray about it. I will call you soon.”
Then, Jesus and I would walk out of the doctor’s office together.
The moment we were safe behind the locked door of my car, I would lament aloud to Him. I would confess and complain and cry, pouring my grief into His ear.
For that is what barren women do when they are given hard choices. They grieve their hard lot. They sweat and weep with Christ in the Garden of Gethsemane, praying, “Father, if You are willing, remove this cup from me” (Luke 22:42).
Or, specific to my situation, “Father, if You are willing, heal me through this technology offered to me by the doctor.”
The thing is, whenever I prayed that prayer, I was immediately reminded that there was one more question in need of answering first: “Father, is this technology even healing medicine?”
For if it is, then — Rejoice, O daughter of Zion! — it is part of the daily bread God provides to support my body and life. I am free to use it!
But if it is not …
The trouble is, IVF is not healing medicine, for it heals nothing. It only separates and puts asunder the parts of our bodies God created and joined together in marriage. It bypasses the very procreative act God designed for bringing children into the world, and it does so never minding our health. It does so never intending to heal any disease.
In fact, IVF not only doesn’t heal any disease, it does harm to others. The very children we wish to create must suffer isolation from their parents and the indignity of being judged worthy or unworthy of life by sight and statistics alone. They also can be subjected to physical abuses such as enduring genetic testing, being withheld from their parents’ physical, emotional, and spritual care, and being frozen and stored in liquid nitrogen indefinitely, all without their consent. Some children are even disposed of in the clinic or selectively terminated in the womb.
No, IVF is not healing medicine.
Understanding this, I knew all of those years ago and still today that IVF was and is not for me to use.
If your conscience is burdened because you used IVF, know that you are not alone in your regrets. The apostle Paul teaches us in his letter to the Romans that “none is righteous, no, not one” (Rom. 3:10). He also writes that “there is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). Please, talk to your pastor or a trusted Christian friend about your regrets, and put your faith in Jesus’ words from the cross about His work of salvation on our behalf: “It is finished” (John 19:30). Because of Christ’s mercy, we can live our lives looking backward in repentance yet forward in hope.
