By Melissa DeGroot

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To the tune of “The Church’s One Foundation”

Midlife’s little helpers
Protein, replaced hormones
Don’t forget your razor!
The chin hairs are full-grown!
And when you feel a hot flash
Just let that heat wave ride!
We’re in Peri/Men’pause
We take each day in stride!

Elect, around age forty
Can last till fifty-five!
Feeling less than sporty!
Wond’ring how we’re to survive!
We dare to keep our figures, 
Partaking ALL the food!
Metab’lism slows its rigors
And puts us in a mood!

Mid toil and tribulation
And tumult of this war!
We await elimination
Of cycles evermore!
Is it a vision glorious? (I can’t see!)
Since now we feel possessed
Itchy, achey, worry-ous
Of enjoyin’ a full night’s rest!

Yet we on earth have union
With God the Three in One
He knows our pains, hairs, moods, hun,
And still gives us His Son!
So happy, sweaty, holy!
Lord, save us by your grace!
E’en now we move more slowly
You still meet us puffy,
whiskered,
gray-haired,
frozen-shouldered,
readers in tow,
brain-fogged,
pimply,
maybe botoxed or microneedled (no judgment)
with an outrageous skin regimen . . .
Face to Face!