by Kristi Leckband
For so many years, I held onto the hope that God would grow our family of two into a family of many. In His time, He did. We waited four years into our marriage for Joanna to arrive. We then waited seven LONG years for the Lord to add Maria. Two months later, Josiah joined the family. I held onto each of those three children as tightly as I could. I knew that I was not entitled to have them. I did not deserve children. Rather, each of them was a gift from the Lord, and that knowledge was not lost on me.
Fast forward a number of years. Our firstborn goes to college eleven hours away. She marries a wonderful young man. This marriage, though, means she is moving away from me permanently. That’s a really good thing that God has given her — a husband. That last hug, as we parted ways, was one of the hardest times of my life. For so long, I had prayed for this child. She was my firstborn. She was going home with someone else, someone whom God brought into her life. I would no longer be the one she’d come to when she needed comfort. That honor now went to her husband. I held onto my little girl for a really long time.
After twenty-three years in one place, our lives took a slight turn. We packed up and moved to become part of a young classical Lutheran school. The younger two children were now enrolled in our classical school. They were away from me for about eight hours, five days a week. That meant I had to let them go. I had been homeschooling for over twenty years. Again, that was really hard.
And yet, I still get to hold each of them. They are a part of me. They have given me some of the most special memories of my life. I hold onto those days. I also need to let my children go. For you see, Joanna, Maria, and Josiah were never really mine. They were on loan to me from the Lord. They were His children first. In His mercy, He gave these three children to me. They are gifts. Gifts.
I count it pure joy to take care of these precious gifts of God. They need a mom and dad to love them, care for them, and teach them the ways of the Lord. I do hold on to them because they are important to me. They were given into my family by God. While I will not have the privilege of holding their hands throughout their entire lives, I can still let them go. I can do this because God will reunite us again on the Last Day. I hold onto that hope and promise of our loving Lord.
