“Our experiences are not promises from God.” Rev. Michael Schuermann
Suffering
A Shout-out to the Singles
To all of my sisters and brothers in the house who grieve not only the absence of children of their own but also the absence of a spouse:
Remember this?
Well, our wait for Adriane Dorr Heins‘ book is over.
Hello, My Name is Single is finally available through Concordia Publishing House, and you can order it here.
I have a confession to make. I had the chance to sneak an early peak at the book (okay, read it all the way through) a couple of months ago, and – let me tell you – it is a delight!
In her book, Heins serves up a rich feast of Christ’s comfort—a tasty meal brined in Holy Writ, peppered to perfection with the Lutheran Confessions, and paired with Heins’ signature, zesty wit—prepared especially for those yearning for the gift of a spouse. Though “Single” is the name written on the place card, Heins generously invites all of us to the banquet table to partake of the peace and joy which alone are found in our Lord Jesus and His Church.
Heins begins the meal with a salty appetizer, “You are not defined by being single. No, you are a child of God: whole and perfect, broken no more,” and quickly refreshes the palate with a clarifying sorbet, “We are not alone, and we don’t live as though we are. We are one with Christ, even if we have no spouse or boyfriend or girlfriend or any friends at all, and He is the one who gives us our value, our worth, our meaning.”
The crunchy salad course whets the appetite for something meaty, “The time and ability to serve the Body of Christ is one of our best and most needed gifts as singles,” which Chef Heins delivers with an experienced hand: “And so it all boils down to this: All of us – single or married – want to place our importance and our worth on something we can control, rather than find it in Christ. We want something that’s not ours to have (at least not yet), and so our Good Shepherd responds to us in a way that teaches us again what His good and perfect will for us is.” *
And as for dessert, well…Did you really think I would give the best part away in a single (pun intended) blog post?
Nope. You’ll have to get the book yourself to find out what’s on the menu.
So, pick up your copy today (along with a fork), and down the hatch!
* (Hello, My Name Is Single by Adriane Dorr Heins, 7-24)
A Prayer of Faith and Hope
I must share a unique blessing I have.
I didn’t always have it. Years ago, I had to sit on the table in my OB/GYN’s office, tucking and re-tucking the thin sheets around myself while waiting for the doctor to arrive and avoiding the ads for contraceptives that plastered the walls.
I have a new doctor now. This doctor celebrates life, teaches his numerous children about the Creator of life, and has personally prayed for me in my suffering. And instead of drug marketing posters, this doctor displays in his office crucifixes, Scripture verses, and wall art like this:
Thank you, Amy, whoever you are. And thank you, Dr. G. You both provide so much encouragement to every woman who sees you.
Real Comfort Food
Heidi invited me to feast on the Word, specifically on this:
[T]he surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. For we who live are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that the life of Jesus also may be manifested in our mortal flesh. So death is at work in us, but life in you.
Since we have the same spirit of faith according to what has been written, “I believed, and so I spoke,” we also believe, and so we also speak, knowing that he who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus and bring us with you into his presence. For it is all for your sake, so that as grace extends to more and more people it may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God.
So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day. For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.
For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee.
So we are always of good courage. We know that while we are at home in the body we are away from the Lord, for we walk by faith, not by sight. Yes, we are of good courage, and we would rather be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So whether we are at home or away, we make it our aim to please him. For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, so that each one may receive what is due for what he has done in the body, whether good or evil (2 Corinthians 4:7-5:10 ESV).
Thank you, Heidi.
The Miry Bog
I cannot dig myself out of any grief pit. In my grief, I must wait on the LORD to pull me out:
“I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God. Many will see and fear and put their trust in the LORD [Psalm 40:1-3].”
I want so badly to do something in my grief, something to save myself from all of this mucky darkness; but, then, I think that is the point of suffering. It reminds us that we can do nothing to save ourselves. We must be saved. By Jesus. He is the One who sets our feet upon a rock and puts a new song in our mouths.
Grief is simply waiting on the LORD, turning in repentance and faith to the only One who can save us.
Have mercy, Lord Jesus. Come quickly!
The Truth about Anna
My friend Stephanie said something to me last summer that struck me:
“Anna was married and never had children, and she had a happy life.”
It almost made me laugh when Stephanie said it, my delight was so immediate. To think that I had been writing about barrenness all of these years and never once considered the prophetess Anna!
Luke doesn’t specifically tell us in his Gospel whether or not Anna was barren, but he does tell us that her husband died after seven, short years of marriage and that Anna lived as a widow for the next eighty-four. Luke also never mentions any children born to take care of Anna in her old age but that she “did not depart from the temple, worshiping with fasting and prayer night and day” (Luke 2:37). It is easy to assume she was never given the gift of children.
But do you know what Anna was given? She was given the opportunity to pray and wait on the LORD for the redemption of Jerusalem, and – Wonder of wonders! – she got to behold that very redemption in the flesh. She got to see Jesus!
Isn’t that beautiful?
You, my dear barren sisters, have been given the opportunity to fast and pray night and day, and – Wonder of wonders! – you get to see Jesus in the temple, too.
Excuse Me
It’s gross.
It might even be a bit inappropriate.
But I’m still going to say it.
Weeping and gnashing your teeth and throwing your hands in the air and asking unanswerable questions is a bit like belching. It releases some of the pressure that has built up in the digestion of grief.
So, on behalf of all the barren women grieving around you, I would like to say, “Excuse me.”
Pastor Talk
Speaking of The Great Getaway last summer, we were also blessed to have a pastor talk with us about what God’s Word has to say about suffering. I found these particular truths to be helpful:
On losing our children…
“This is the problem God had. His children were lost, and He gave His Son to get them back. He gets us.”
On why we suffer…
“We suffer and have crosses so that God’s work can be made manifest.”
“This is the nature of the Christian life: that out of death comes life.”
Newsletters
I received a Christmas picture-card from a Great Getaway friend with the following inscription:
“These things I have spoken to you that in Me you may have peace. In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.” John 16:33
God gives us just what we need at exactly the time we need it. Life is full of ups and downs and we thank you for being in our lives. Wishing you and your family a blessed and happy new year.
Isn’t that lovely? No bragging, no complaining, no commiserating. Just the blessed, simple, gracious truth.
Thank you, Jill. I need to take Christmas newsletter-writing lessons from you.
false gods
My husband said this to me the other day:
We have to deal with our false gods. That’s what God does with us. He makes us confront our false gods and see how they actually fail us.
In my barrenness, God makes me confront my false god of control, for, up to this moment, there is not a single thing I have been able to do to control my barrenness and give myself the gift of a child through conception or adoption.
Nor have you been able to do it.
Hear that? That’s the sound of my big-bellied, false god falling off my mantle and shattering onto the floor.
And for that, I thank God for my barrenness.
He Remembers the Barren 