Eight years ago Jerome and I were blessed with the birth of our daughter Joanna. What a time of joy that was! We had already waited several years for her to arrive, so we were bursting at the seams with smiles. This was the first grandchild on my side of the family, and I was filled with joy to begin the next generation. We watched our daughter grow and change on a daily basis, as well as nurtured her faith with hymns and prayers. I relished (and still do) being a parent, despite the lows that mixed with the highs.
Fast-forward a couple of years. We were ready to expand our family once again. After several unsuccessful months without conception, we talked with our doctor. He ordered tests and determined nothing out of the ordinary. We used some medications but to no avail. Finally, we were faced with the prospect of IVF or many tests and dollars towards other methods. At the time, this seemed the end of the road. My heart and home were ready for more children!
We went home and prayed. What would the Lord have us do? IVF was not an option for us, and we didn’t want to endure tests and needle-pokes and the like. It didn’t seem that we would conceive naturally. I can still clearly recall my doctor telling me that all of the infertility tests and such would be a thing of the past once my house was full of children. Really? How could he make that claim? Yet I believed him.
There are some things that I KNOW for certain… I am a sinner. I am by no means perfect. My body is not perfect. I know that I believe in the Triune God, who loves me DESPITE all of my imperfections. I know that God has only good planned for me. I know that He grants me only good things. I know that my heart has a great capacity to love, especially to love children.
Yes, my heart has room for more children. I so dearly desire more children in my family. I want the big table with family gathered around for holidays. I want to see my yard full of children playing games together. I want to take family vacations with my children and make memories. I want to have children sit on my lap while I read stories to them. I want more children.
But it hasn’t happened. I have been blessed instead with nieces and nephews to love. I am godparent to eleven beautiful children. I am privileged to teach Sunday School and to direct the children’s choir in my church. I get the opportunity to read stories on a monthly basis to children at our local library. My heart has so much room to love these children. No, they’re not biological or adopted. That doesn’t matter. God has placed these children in my life. My heart has room to love them, and so I do. The Lord has given my heart room for so many children, and so I love them.
My husband and I pray for more children to be part of our immediate family. We pray that God answers our prayer favorably. No matter how He answers, though, I know that I am dearly loved by God. He has made me part of His family, and He loves me dearly.