Barrenness through Mom’s Eyes

My mom Laurie Schepmann is a caring soul, and it is my fervent prayer that my life might emulate her grace and love.  She has never wavered in her love for me as I have journeyed from a little girl into a grown woman and am now dealing with the cross of barrenness.  Below is a letter that Mom wrote.  I share it with you as a reminder that you are loved as a daughter, whether or not you are a parent.

Dear Kristi,

I do want to say once again that your value or worth or whatever you want to call it has never diminished in our eyes because of your barrenness.  The same goes for our love for you.  Such a thing would never enter our minds.  You are our daughter, and nothing can change our love for you or the bonds that tie us to each other.

I do appreciate how difficult a thing it must be to share something like barrenness when one views it as a humiliation or degradation of oneself.  I, however, have never felt that it lessened a person, or more specifically YOU…but, then again, I have not “walked in your shoes.”  I understand that there are people who can make you feel that way, though, and the only thing I know is to forgive them for their lack of understanding, pray for them, and move on.

Those who are barren are not lessened in my mind one iota.  It is just another one of those things over which one has no control.  As always, we support each other whenever we can and whenever we finally REALIZE that there is a need.  So often, we are not there for others because we have no idea what goes on in their hearts and minds.  Thanks be to God that there is forgiveness for us and that He promises to be with us and help us in all of our needs, though!

It has always been my belief that you handled it very well.  Little did I know, though, of the turmoil and pain you endured in private.  Because of our desire not to snoop, but rather to wait for you to share any news, if and when you chose to, we said very little.  If you interpreted that as not caring, I apologize and feel sorry about it.

We are looking forward to the time when you can bring your adopted child home!  Whoever he, or she, may be, we know this child will find welcoming hearts and laps and hugs in our family.  My prayers for that child, as you know, have continued from the first time you told us that you were applying for a child!  (In anticipation of his/her joining us soon, we’ve already bought him/her a Christmas stocking.)  May our loving Heavenly Father, Who knows all of our needs, bring that child to us soon and in accord with His divine wisdom and will; for, He surely knows and loves us more than anyone else.  We know that special love through His Son, our Savior, Jesus Christ!

Thank you for opening up and sharing with us and with others, who are traveling that same, painful road.  May God bless you for your courage and help many others through you.  God works all things for good to those who love Him.