There are a few side effects of Lupron which the manufacturer forgot to mention on the label:

1. The tropical-breeze-hot-flashes that tickled you in the spring of Texas will turn into blazing infernos in the Dallas heat of May.

2. No amount of fast-talking, gymnastics, or pointing across the room will hide the sweat marks on your clothes.

3. If you wear red, your face and arms will disappear against your clothes.

4. Sunshine, curling irons, lunch, sermons, cooking, reading, snuggling, writing, breathing, and time passing will cause a hot flash.

5. Never set your thermostat above 70. Ever. Or your loads of laundry will double.

6. Wear gloves and socks or your yoga mat will become a slip-and-slide.

7. Pants, capris, and anything with sleeves can be used as kindling at your next camp fire (though let someone else start the fire and sit 100 feet away; no, actually don’t go on that camping trip).

8. Don’t bother showering before bed, because you are going to wake up in the middle of the night soaked with sweat.

9. Lean into every air conditioner, fan, and refrigerator you meet.

10. Do not grow your hair out or cut bangs during this time.

This post was brought to you by Frigidaire, Fanimation, and Blue Haven Pools & Spas.