What If It Doesn’t Work Out?

Joanna and I have been corresponding on the topic of adoption. Here is a tidbit of wonderfulness from one of her recent emails:

I think there may be a difference in the way children are gifts from God (and they are) and the way, for example, the Sacraments are gifts from God. The Sacraments are free gifts, given to us by God for the forgiveness of our sins. They are gifts from God that are purely for our benefit.

It seems to me that children are gifts from God, but the purpose of the gift is not so much for the benefit and happiness of the parents (although that certainly comes along with it) but for the welfare of the child. The gift of a child is an opportunity from God to serve our small neighbor in love.

I wonder if remembering this would be a healthy approach to the whole confusing world of adoption. The idea of loving our neighbor (rather than receiving something for ourselves) allows the whole fear of “what if it doesn’t work out” to be a little less intense. Because if God does allow you to adopt, you can love and serve your neighbor in the child. And if He doesn’t, you can still love and serve the neighbors all around you, because they are gifts from God, as well.