Long ago in catechism class, I learned that God answers prayers. He does so in several ways; He can answer YES, NO, and WAIT. As a kid, any time my parents told me to WAIT, I was disappointed. As an adult, I still don’t like to hear the word WAIT. It took my struggles and suffering as an adult to finally understand that God may say WAIT because that is what is best for me.
The Lord has been working on my hard, sin-filled heart continuously since my Baptism. I sin when I reject His Words and His gifts, but I also repent of those sins. It’s such a paradox of the human mind and spirit. I pray to the Lord and ask Him for the desires of my heart. His answers are still YES, NO, and WAIT.
With joy I receive all of His gifts, even if they don’t come when I want them. Today, though, I am preparing to receive a gift for which I have long prayed: a child. The Lord has told me to WAIT for several years, and I have struggled to accept that answer. The Lord has used this time to strengthen and uphold me, to encourage me, to mold me into His child. I have fought Him time and again; I have rejected His gifts. I have rejected the people He has placed around me to share God’s Word with me. I have learned that I don’t have to suffer alone. God has given me so many good gifts, and I am still learning to receive them with thanksgiving.
Now God tells me, “YES – I am blessing you with a child, who will come to you through the gift of adoption.” Why? Did I finally meet His expectations for perfection? No; I still sin daily. Did I finally pray hard enough? No, I haven’t been faithful in prayer. Have I finally suffered enough? My suffering is nothing compared to the suffering of God’s Son Jesus. This child is a gift… from God! I don’t deserve a child; I’m not entitled to such a blessing. Yet He gives this child to our family purely by His grace. There is no merit or worthiness in me. None.
God, in His mercy, has said YES! And when God says YES, I will receive this child with joy!