In my hours of self-pity, I am angry with God for the gifts He has given to others. In particular, I am angry that God has bestowed children to those who, in my opinion, don’t “deserve” them. My anger spews out words of jealousy towards the parents who seemingly let their children do whatever they wish. I tell myself that I could do so much better than those parents. I despise the Lord God for not giving me more children so that I might be a role model for good parenting skills. I am upset with my doctor who can’t seem to find the root of my barrenness. I chastise those closest to me for offering suggestions and encouragement. The anger builds. I am quick to point out the shortcomings of others, and it makes me feel good.
But then comes the you-turn. God shows me my sin, and I recall that I am steeped in self-righteousness. By God’s grace, I remember that children are GOD’s gift to give. Perhaps a larger brood is not what is best for me. I recognize my pity-party attitude and turn that around. I have made myself into an idol by thinking that I could do a better job with somebody else’s children. Thus, I see my sin, and I repent. I turn from my inward self and look to the cross of Jesus. In Him only can my anger be calmed and removed. That sin of anger is taken away by Jesus’ body and blood, shed for me. It’s time to turn my face back to Jesus, for only He can restore my soul.
Dear God, Forgive my sin of idolatry. Teach me to follow You and trust that Your will is best for me. Help me to love my neighbor. In Jesus’ name I pray. Amen.