Every one of us shouldering the cross of barrenness asks the question, “What if?”
What if we had married earlier in life?
What if we hadn’t avoided the gift of children all of those years?
What if we hadn’t contracepted?
What if my doctor hadn’t taken that ovary?
What if we hadn’t consumed so many nitrates and nitrites in our youth?
What if we had avoided wrapping all of our food in plastic as kids?
What if we’d not eaten those tomatoes stored in BPA-lined cans?
What if my husband hadn’t had chemo during his bout with cancer?
What if we’d used a different adoption agency?
We can’t help it. If only there was something we could have done differently, then maybe we could make a change today and shift the tide of our barrenness towards more pleasant waters.
But, my sisters, it’s all a silly game. There’s no sense in asking such questions, because the answers don’t matter. Up to this moment, God has filled your days with all the things you need to support this body and life, and He promises to continue to work all things for your eternal good and for the good of your neighbor (Romans 8). Yes, even this wretched suffering. You are baptized into Christ Jesus, and you have been given His robe of righteousness in exchange for all of your regrets.
There’s no need to worry about “What if?” anymore. We, the Baptized, can simply rest in the goodness of “What is,” trusting that God means what He says in His Word.