Author: Katie Schuermann

I believe the Holy Scriptures to be the inerrant Word of God, inspired by the Holy Spirit and fulfilled in Christ Jesus, our risen Lord and Savior. Therefore, I have faith that children are exactly what God tells us they are in His Word: a heritage to receive from Him. Children are not a prize for me to earn, a commodity for me to demand, nor an idol for me to worship. They are a gift which my Heavenly Father only has the privilege to bestow and to withhold. If God makes me a mother, then I can receive His good gift of a child with all joy and confidence in His love for me. If God does not make me a mother, then I can still know with all joy and confidence that God loves me completely in His perfect gift of the Child Jesus whose sacrifice on the cross atoned for my sin and reconciled me to my Heavenly Father. I am God’s own child, purchased and won by the blood of Jesus, and God promises in His Word that He will work all things - even my barrenness - for my eternal good. For this reason, I can in faith confess that my barrenness is a blessing.

Plainspoken

“Want to come inside for a visit?” Elva asked.

I was there for milk and eggs only. I hadn’t expected to be invited inside the main house, and I was suddenly embarrassed by my grubby barn garb – stocking cap, work jeans, muddy boots – but the hospitable man seemed to read my mind.

“Seems the best place for a chat is out of the rain.”

I couldn’t argue with that. I followed Elva into the square house and was immediately welcomed by the warm smile and handshake of his wife, Alta. Something yeasty and cinnamon-y was also welcoming me from their oven.

“So you’re a writer of books?”

I looked into Elva’s blue eyes. They were kind and curious and ready to smile. Now that he had taken off his black hat, I could see that his ruddy hair perfectly matched his beard in shade and texture.

“Yes.” I never know what else to say in these circumstances.

“What are they about?”

“Oh, well.” I cleared my throat and tried to think how best to describe in just a few sentences what took thousands upon thousands of sentences to actually publish. “My husband and I have not been blessed with children, so my first book is about barrenness.”

They didn’t flinch. I took a breath and continued. “I like writing about God’s abundant love and mercy to us in Christ Jesus. It comforts me to know that God’s care for us is proven in the gift of His own Son, not in the gift of children of my own.”

Neither of them seemed to be bothered by serious talk.

“Would you like to see my books?” Elva gestured an invitation toward the four shelves of books tucked neatly in the corner of the room.

“Turn on the lamp, so she can see,” Alta instructed.

I tried not to stare too obviously as Elva picked up a nearby lighter. The gas lamp above my head buzzed and popped with immediate light. The thought occurred to me that I was just a couple of hours away from my own home but worlds away from my daily life. I skimmed the titles. The Holy Bible. That one I expected. What I didn’t expect was The Walk West: A Walk Across America 2.

“Oh, I know that book,” I said. It is an autobiographical account of one man’s experiences walking across America with his wife. It’s prequel is a retelling of the experiences of that same man walking across America by himself. “My mom read it aloud to me when I was in elementary school. Do you like it?”

“Yes,” Elva’s brow furrowed, “but I learned that the author and his wife are no longer together. That kind of ruined it for me.”

A soulful, convicted man. I took a risk.

“This is a personal question, and, please,” I walked back to my chair across the room, too nervous to look either of my hosts in the eye, “don’t answer if I am being inappropriate, but are there any,” I swallowed, “barren couples in your community?”

Alta glanced at her husband’s face. “Yes. One of my closest friends, in fact. Well, they did end up having one child, but…”

“But none after that?”

Alta nodded.

“Is it hard not to have children in your community?” I colored at the sound of my own question. It registered as dumb in my own barren ears. “I mean, I would think it would be hard not to have more help with the work around the house…”

Oh, dear. I was getting dumber by the second.

Elva generously saved me. “We usually generate only the amount of work we can do ourselves. And we help each other.”

I nodded, embarrassed. “So the barren in your community have support.” I said it more to myself than to anyone else.

“Yes,” Alta nodded. “In fact, several- ”

There are several Amish barren! I was surprised and somewhat comforted.

” -get together for circle time in our area to visit and…”

Alta looked at her husband, again. I could tell she didn’t know how to describe what she had never taken part in.

“And encourage each other?” I offered.

She nodded, again.

I smiled. I couldn’t help it. Even in this strange world of gas lamps and horse-drawn buggies, I was not alone in my suffering.

I felt quite encouraged, myself.

Our Children

Who are the millions of aborted children to barren couples?

“They are our children, the dear offspring of our hearts for whom we have prayed, hoped, and waited so long.”

Abortion and Salvation

Question Submitted: After hearing about the inhumane treatment of the precious souls lost during abortions, I was comforted to think that these souls are in the arms of our Savior. But could you point me to Scripture that backs this belief up? I have always been told by fellow Christians that these souls are in heaven even though they never left the womb, but I realize more and more how important it is to back up these beliefs with Scripture. I am trying to spend more time in reading God’s Word, but I don’t know how to begin researching this.

The whole situation surrounding Planned Parenthood’s abortion industry is sickening, and one of the most difficult, awful realities of their reckless abuse and murder of the unborn is that we do not have a clear promise in Scripture that these children go to heaven.

I heard of a recent discourse on Facebook between a couple of pastors that went something like this:

Pastor 1: Not all of these aborted children are going to heaven.
Pastor 2: Which ones are going to hell, then?
Pastor 1: Whichever ones don’t believe in Jesus.

And there is the truth. God gives faith to His people – faith which trusts that Jesus died on the cross for the forgiveness of sins – and only those who believe that Christ’s death was for their salvation enter into heaven.

Pastor Mark Surburg has written some of the best and truest words I have ever read on the subject of a child’s death in the womb, and while here he is writing specifically about the miscarriage of children from Christian parents (which is a different subject than the abortion of pagan children), I think you might find his pastoral response helpful.

Here, also, is Pastor Mark Chepulis’ theological response to the death of his own daughter in the womb.

However silent God may be on the subject on the eternal state of aborted children, He is not silent in His Word on the state of His abundant mercy. Here are some clear promises from God that comfort me in the face of Planned Parenthood’s monstrosity:

God desires that all be saved and come to the knowledge of the truth (1 Timothy 2:4).
God does not desire the death of anyone but, instead, desires that all should reach repentance (2 Peter 3:9).
God’s steadfast love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34).
The children of mankind take refuge in God’s wings; God hears and answers the prayers of the righteous; God is forgiving; His mercy is great (Psalms 36:7; 34:15; 86:7; 119:156).

And so, in faith, we turn and pray to the LORD of great mercy: “Lord, have mercy! Christ, have mercy! Lord, have mercy!” and we commend these children into the hands of a loving God. After that, all we in good conscience can do is trust in His clear promises as found in Scripture and work to serve and protect those vulnerable children who are yet unborn. (This can be done by speaking out on their behalf; working to bring about laws which would protect and preserve their right to life and shield them from further abuse; support their parents’ physical, emotional, and spiritual needs, etc.).

I know that this may seem like such an unsatisfying answer, but a pastor-friend of mine, the Rev. Tony Oliphant, wisely reminded me just this morning, “In a sense, [this is] not a very satisfying answer. If anything, it compounds the horror of abortion. But then again, in another sense, is there anything more satisfying than leaning so deeply into the mercy of the One who gives life and love so recklessly to His undeserving and helpless children?”

Now, please go talk to your pastor about all of this. Test my words against his, for he is the one who has been called to preach God’s Word to you in truth and to serve you in such a time as this. He wants you to talk to him about this.

Being LadyLike

As a writer, one thing I very much enjoy at the end of a long, 1,000-word day is reading the work of someone who writes better than me. The experience always refreshes my vocabulary, stimulates my neuron network, and ups my wordy game to the expert level.

I think that’s why I like Rebekah Curtis’s and Rosie Adle’s LadyLike so much. It’s good writing, and it’s a hoot to boot. These sister-authors are wise where I’m foolish, articulate where I’m tongue-tied, and funny where I’m dull. Their witty, familiar banter put me immediately at ease, so I didn’t mind so much when they pointed out the embarrassing leaks in my woman-britches. Maybe it was because they were so quick to patch up my holes themselves with their needle of truth and thread of understanding.

I especially appreciated their tender attentions given to the barren woman in the essay, “To My Friend Who Has No Babies Today.”

I felt safe in their company, valued even. I think you will, too. Order your copy today.

Let the Children Come to Me

In light of the recent, somber anniversary of Roe v. Wade, here is a poignant teaching from the sainted pastor and writer Bo Giertz on the gift of children:

“Let the children come to Me; do not hinder them.” Mark 10:14

This was a severe reprimand to the disciples. They thought children should wait until they were able to understand what the sermon was all about. That would be soon enough. But the parents wanted the right thing for their children.

Being a parent is one of the greatest gifts God can give. It’s also one of the greatest tasks you could ever undertake. Having a child together allows parents to share in God’s creative work. We couldn’t live here on earth or be God’s children eternally if the parents of countless generations before us had not labored with their own children and even given their lives for their children. Now it may be our turn to bring life into the world. We cannot take this task lightly. God put us here in an immense generational context. Of course, not everyone is called to be a parents. Not everyone gets married and is gifted with children. But if you get the chance, you can’t deny children their right to live. Is not life more than food and the body more than clothes? You can’t exchange the life of one child as payment for the luxuries you want to provide another. Jesus says, “Let the children come to Me.” It’s awe-inspiring. The first condition for being able to be a child of God and share all the joy that is the meaning of life, now and in eternity, is that there are people on earth who are willing to take upon themselves the task of parenting.

“Let the children come to Me.” Jesus doesn’t share the view of those who say: Let the child grow up first so he can decide for himself. No, Jesus says. It is just these people who need the kingdom of God. It’s for them. Who can bear to grow up in this evil world without clinging to God? People were never meant to struggle through life without God. We can see how hard it is all around us. We really do need Jesus to lay His hands upon us and bless us the way He does in Baptism. And then never let go of His hand.

Dear Lord, You must help us here because it’s hard to see what Your will is. The world seems to be overpopulated. People say it’s not right to bring children into this world. But Your country was also overpopulated, wasn’t it? Still Your Father let You grow up in a large family. Wasn’t there a reason for that? Can it possibly be wrong to give life to a child whom You love and want to be brought before You if that child is laid in Your arms and taught to live with You now, every day and into eternity? Lord, I must thank You because I have received life and wasn’t denied it. Of course, I would never have leaned to know You if I had not seen the light of day on earth. Lord, help us all to see clearly and do what is right in Your eyes.

(From CPH’s To Live with Christ by Bo Giertz, pages 121-22)

The Way It Goes Sometimes

We took our nine-year-old niece out for supper the other night.

“Do you want to be a mom?” she asked from the backseat of the car.

“Oh, yes, but God has not given us the gift of children.”

“You can adopt, then.”

“We’ve tried, but it hasn’t worked out in such a way as to make us parents.”

“Huh?” Her adorable, Asian brow furrowed in my rearview mirror. “What do you mean?”

“I mean that we’ve tried to adopt children, but it just doesn’t work out for everybody. God has not given us the gift of children through adoption.”

“But- ” she chewed on this bit of news for a moment. It wasn’t the first time we’d talked about it, but it was the first time we’d talked about it alone. “I thought that you can just…I mean, isn’t it…? Don’t you just…? Oh. I guess I don’t know how it works.”

I found her admission of consternation to be refreshing – even comforting – especially coming from someone who was herself adopted.

For I often feel that way about adoption myself.

For the Children

We are mothers, my barren sisters, when we serve children in our present vocations.

So stand up for them. Speak out for them. March for them. Write for them.

For the children.

“Having Escaped from the Corruption”

His divine power has granted to us all things that pertain to life and godliness, through the knowledge of him who called us to his own glory and excellence, by which he has granted to us his precious and very great promises, so that through them you may become partakers of the divine nature, having escaped from the corruption that is in the world because of sinful desire. For this very reason, make every effort to supplement your faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and self-control with steadfastness, and steadfastness with godliness, and godliness with brotherly affection, and brotherly affection with love. For if these qualities are yours and are increasing, they keep you from being ineffective or unfruitful in the knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. For whoever lacks these qualities is so nearsighted that he is blind, having forgotten that he was cleansed from his former sins. Therefore, brothers, be all the more diligent to make your calling and election sure, for if you practice these qualities you will never fall. For in this way there will be richly provided for you an entrance into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. – 2 Peter 1:3-11

Whenever I read such words of wisdom from Holy Writ, I feel a deep sense of gratitude that the LORD has made our life’s calling so clear: trust in His promises (not the world’s) and love and serve others (not ourselves).

In this light, it becomes easy to say no to IVF and other assisted reproductive technologies which serve ourselves instead of others and which potentially hurt and harm the very children we are trying to create.

For those of us who desire children, it is good to wait on the LORD, supplementing our faith with virtue, and virtue with knowledge, and knowledge with self-control, and so on, that we might never fall.

Mommy Arms

I recently had the blesséd privilege of spending two weeks in the home of a family of nine who was welcoming home a new, baby sister.

It was a season of firsts for me: first time watching a newborn grow and shape-shift daily; first time watching up-close as a beautiful mother suffered through the chapping and cramping that come in the first weeks of breastfeeding; first time helping older brothers and sisters transition and process the change that comes with a new family member in the house; first time tutoring an almost seven-year-old through her math lesson; and first time stripping and washing bedsheets which had been wetted.

It was also the first time I stood in a kitchen holding a baby for close to an hour-and-a-half and realized that my arms weren’t shaking.

You see, it always happens. Within ten minutes of holding any baby, my arms begin to vibrate. Even though I lift eleven times that baby’s weight over my head every day in the gym, the plyometric activity of holding a tiny baby for mere minutes makes my arms begin to shake. It always embarrasses me when that happens, for it is a physical, tangible, public reminder of what I do not hold every day in my own home. I do not have mommy arms.

And the hardest part of finally earning mommy arms is that they feel terribly empty when you have to go back to your own home.

Not All Mothers

I recently received this note from a sister in Christ. It brought me great comfort in my barrenness:

In our household we have come to love the story of Ruth. [My husband] teaches it on a cycle to the youth of our church. One of his main points is that it is as much Naomi’s story as Ruth’s and Boaz’, for it is the story of the Promise of the Seed and Naomi’s Redeemer.

In the last chapter, when Boaz’ and Ruth’s son is born, the village women remark that Ruth was as good as ten sons to Naomi. This is true, isn’t it? Through this child comes the continuation of what will be the Davidic line resulting in David’s King. How wondrous! And yet Ruth is not Naomi’s daughter and blood relation. Instead, upon having seen and tasted her mother-in-law’s faith in her home country, Ruth is a daughter by confession. “Your people will be my people; your God, my God.”

Not all mothers give birth to their daughters.