I remember hearing a sermon preached years ago that made such an impression on me that I have thought of it many times over the years and wished that I still had a copy of it. I believe it was called, “Wrestling With God, Against God,” with the corresponding lesson being Genesis 32 when Jacob wrestled with God incarnate. The message stayed with me because it was something I had never heard vocalized before, though I had felt it: sometimes in life we find ourselves in situations where God seems to be against us. No matter what we do we just can’t get a break. It’s as if we, like Jacob, were battling with a force who we thought wanted the best for us, but who won’t let us by to get to the destination that we seek. We are angry that we can’t proceed, we’re exhausted by the fight, and we are confused about who this contender really is: our friend or our foe?

My friend Sara, who lost her one-year-old daughter last May, has seemed a pillar of strength through these many years of dealing with serious health issues for two of her children. She has written beautiful posts that encourage and uplift her readers, even through her tragedies. She knows what Scripture has to say about God’s love and compassion. She can repeat it well to her readers. But in her recent post she confesses:

Round moons, and all the tulips in Holland couldn’t change the fact that this life of pain and sorrow was threatening to swallow me.  From where I sat, in the throes of depression, the truths I’d believed, rehearsed, written and proclaimed couldn’t gain traction.

Sara is wrestling with God, against God. Even she, who was and is a model to so many who are experiencing their own trials, has arrived at that point.

Jesus’ own cousin, the one of whom He said, “Among those born of women there has arisen no one greater than John the Baptist,” (Matt. 11:1), sent word through his disciples from his prison cell to find out from Jesus, “Are you the one who is to come, or shall we look for another?” (Matt. 11:3). Some commentaries say that John did this only to prove a point to his disciples; he never doubted Jesus’ mission. After all, he’d been at Jesus’ Baptism when the heavens had opened and the Father Himself had spoken. But some pastors I’ve talked to don’t buy this. John was in prison, suffering, and Jesus, his own relative who had proved to have power from on high, was apparently doing nothing. Is it possible that John, great as he was, reached a point where he, too, was wrestling with God, against God?

You can get to that point and still be a Christian. You can shake your fists and yell and feel forsaken and beaten down and still be “with God.” Because He isn’t going anywhere. In our frustration we can beg God to let us by and yet simultaneously we beg Him not to leave us. When your heart doesn’t feel the joy that was meant to accompany all of God’s promises to you in His Word, He doesn’t turn His back on you. When you demand answers for why this is happening to you, He may not give them to you, but He won’t plug His ears either. Rev. Bryan Wolfmueller made an excellent point in his Issues, Etc. radio interview following the shootings in Aurora, CO (paraphrasing): “Jesus doesn’t always give us the answers—but He always gives us Himself.” He gives us Himself sacramentally, when He is literally poured out for us into the chalice from which we drink. He gives us Himself through the absolution spoken by our pastors, “I forgive you all yours sins…” He gives us Himself through our fellow Christians, who reach out to us in love and concern.

Sometimes you just reach the bottom. All your efforts to feel better have failed. The hope is gone. And yet the Hope is not gone. Jesus is at the bottom, too. How you feel about His promises or the plans He may have for your life do not in any way change the validity of those promises, the efficacy of His Words, or His real and ever-present love for you. It’s easy to tell you to take comfort, to have faith, to “hold on.” It’s easy to tell you what to do or what to feel. But when you’re at the bottom, sometimes you can’t do or feel anything. And it’s OK to be honest with God about this.

Lord, I can’t wrestle anymore. I have nothing left. Dear Jesus, please carry me. Please give me the gifts You promise, even if I can’t receive them joyfully yet. Even if I don’t feel comforted. Keep giving me Yourself so that I may not drown in my sorrows in the bottom of this pit, but float to the top on all that You have poured out for me. Stay with me, even when I despair. Amen.

The term “sisterhood” conjures up images of sororities, family gatherings, or that classic song from the movie White Christmas (“…there were never such devoted sisters”). Throughout a woman’s life she meets other females like her, women who are “in the same boat” at the time and can relate to what she’s going through in life. This blog is a prime example of a place where sisterhood is fostered and common experiences shared. Our readers feel a connection with one another and a sense of belonging.

This is a good thing, of course, but it’s important to realize the pitfalls of exclusive sisterhood. Katie Schuermann’s newest book, Pew Sisters, is a wake-up call to all of us who may be tempted to think only of the crosses that we bear and forget the battles that other women around us may be waging. Pew Sisters, which is arranged as a small group women’s Bible study, dives into the lives of twelve real women who experienced emotional, physical and spiritual trials in their pasts and were guided through these valleys by the loving hand of their Savior. This book is a reminder not only to open our eyes to those around us, but most importantly to fix our eyes “on Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross” (Heb. 12:2).

Pew Sisters exposes the secrets of the women you see each week in your own congregation. What often lies behind the practiced smiles and the “Oh, I’m fine” responses to your flippant “How are you?” are hardships. Katie so delicately reveals these hardships from the lives of women she has personally known at different times in her life. These women, who have so courageously allowed their stories to be told, do not hold back their faults or cover over poor decisions they may have made. Because of their honesty, Pew Sisters does not shy away from showing both saint and sinner. This realistic perspective helps the reader better identify with the woman who is highlighted in each session by bringing to the surface those sins and struggles that are common to so many of us—worry, regret, weariness, guilt, anger, doubt, despair—and documenting those specific ways in which the woman was comforted, found peace, or was encouraged. Sometimes the help came through her spouse, friend, or pastor, but it always came from the mercy and grace of Christ Jesus, revealed to her from His Holy Word.

This help comes to us, too, as we follow along with the study questions at the end of each story and eagerly turn to the study guide in the back to find out how Katie’s own pastors answered each question. The reader is not left to wonder if she is interpreting God’s Word correctly; she is coached by the professionals, those who have been trained and called to teach her what they have learned from years of study. This is an amazing addition to the Bible study: to be able to hear how two different theologians reflect upon those really tough questions about suffering and pain, forgiveness and hope.

What Pew Sisters will do for you, as a barren woman, is engage you in the very healthy practice of getting outside yourself and identifying with the sorrows of others. Maybe you’ve never been through a divorce, like Marianne, or dealt with the serious illness of a child, like Anna, or been diagnosed with cancer, like Christine. But you know some of the emotions they’ve experienced, and as a fellow member of the Body of Christ you have a connection with them—a sisterhood, if you will— that qualifies you to reach out in love. Katie even includes suggestions for how you can show this love to them in the “Moment in the Pew” sections that go along with each story.

It’s true that sharing in the suffering of another inevitably brings you both closer together. But Pew Sisters‘ intent is not to show the bond that exists between women who suffer in various ways. Rather it highlights the familial bond formed between us by our Baptisms and adoptions as daughters of our heavenly Father. This unity should motivate us to treasure each of those sisters in Christ who sit in front of, behind, or next to us on Sunday mornings. It should drive us to our knees in repentance for not caring for or about them, and in thanksgiving for those whom our Lord has sent to care for and about us.