Collect: January 16, 2012

It is our privilege to pray with and for you.  If you would like to submit a personal petition to be included in our prayers, please send your request via the “Submit a Question” page on this site.  

Collect of the Week: 

Let us pray…

Almighty and everlasting God, thank You for sending your Son Jesus to be the Light of the world.  The Law has shown us the darkness of our sin, and we beg your forgiveness.  Help us confess that Jesus is the Son of God, the Savior of the world.  Be with Lisa during the darkness of her suffering and assure her of Your eternal presence.  Strengthen Brenda as she faces the days ahead; be her light in the darkness of uncertainty. Comfort all who struggle in sin and lead them to repentance; through Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

Baby Showers and Baptisms

Question submitted: How have you made it through going to baby showers? It’s difficult for me.  My younger sister’s baby shower is coming up, and I am nervous about going because I don’t want to start crying in front of everyone.

A baby shower.  A baby’s baptism.  Meeting a new niece or nephew at the hospital for the first time.  My participation in each of these events is a painful reminder to me of what I lack.  I’m not the guest of honor at a baby shower.  I don’t get to dress my baby in a family heirloom baptismal gown on her special day.  I’m not the one who has recently birthed a child at the hospital.

I never realized how emotional these events were until the baptism of my brother’s first child.  There was no way I was going to shed any tears on that special day.  I thought I could be strong enough to mask my own disappointment.  I wanted to be the parent who was bringing my child to the baptismal font, but I wasn’t going to let anybody see the pain on my face.  I had told myself that this day was about my niece and the special gifts she was being given.  What I didn’t tell myself was that it was okay to grieve as well.

Meeting my niece was precious.  Holding her made me feel special.  The hardest part, though, was when my daughter Joanna got to hold her new cousin.  She swelled with pride and beamed from cheek to cheek.  That’s when I had to fight back the tears.  This picturesque moment should have been for my baby.

I had squelched the urge to cry; I decided that would be the only time I’d weep over the weekend.  I didn’t think the Sunday morning baptism would affect me.  What a lie I’d told myself.  When the congregation began singing the baptismal hymn, the flood gates opened.  I was crying because I hadn’t been gifted a child.  I listened to the hymn and begged God to forgive my selfishness.  As my niece was baptized, I heard the sweet gospel news that she was a forgiven member of the family of Christ.  I was forgiven, too.

The focus of this day was not about my personal desire for a large family, nor about my barren womb.  It was about God’s gift of a child.  In my sinful pride, I had looked at the birth of my niece as a punishing reminder of what I didn’t have.  Once I recalled God’s blessings of a child to my brother and his wife, then I could share in their excitement.  All children are gifts from the Lord, and they should be celebrated.  My niece had become my sister in Christ; that was reason for rejoicing.

Before my niece’s baptism, I told my brother that I might not always appear joyful.  It was not meant to anger or remove myself from the family.  Rather, it was going to be hard because I was mourning my own loss.  He understood and was thankful that I could articulate my feelings to him.  Share your feelings with your sister.  Let her know that you’re nervous about the shower.  You love your sister and want to be part of her special day; tell her that you do rejoice with her.  And if you cry that day, it’s okay.  Your sister will know that it’s hard for you, but she’ll appreciate even more your honesty.

During the shower, you will find yourself comparing your situation to your sister’s; this is normal.  Remind yourself that this is a time of God’s blessing.  Find ways to occupy your mind.  Help write down the gifts; offer to help with refreshments.  These activities will help keep you focused on the blessings God is giving.

Yes, baby showers and baptisms are difficult times.  However, they are also reasons to give thanks to the Lord for His generous love.  Children should be celebrated for what they are – gifts.  While you may not have children of your own, you are God’s child.  You are a gift to your parents and to those who love you.  That’s something to celebrate.

Collect: January 9, 2012

It is our privilege to pray with and for you.  If you would like to submit a personal petition to be included in our prayers, please send your request via the “Submit a Question” page on this site.  

Collect of the Week: 

Let us pray…

Father in heaven, at the Baptism of Jesus you proclaimed Him to be Your Son.  Thank you for claiming us as your own through our baptisms.  Your Son Jesus took us – filthy of sin – and clothed us with Himself.  We now stand before You as pure sons and daughters.  Grant each of us joy in our daily callings.  Give us Your Holy Spirit to ward off temptations of the flesh, such as jealousy and pride; through the same Jesus Christ, our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

Hawaii

I’ve had many expectant mothers talk to me about the special kinship they feel with the mother of our Lord, especially during the Advent and Christmas seasons: the shared Magnificat upon learning of their pregnancies; the similar joy of telling the good news to their relatives; the pondering of the miraculous in their hearts; the reality of having to labor and birth in unsavory conditions (or opposite to original birth plans); and the joy of holding and naming their children.

I have to admit, I tend to listen to such musings as one might a recounting of a recent vacation to Hawaii. I’ve never been there, but it sounds wonderful. I even hope to go there someday.

But, as much as I admire Mary and want to be like her, it is the shepherds with whom I can most relate, for I am just like them. I am poor and rough around the edges, not expecting much of anything. Yet, God in His mercy reveals His Good News to me – lowly, unworthy me:

“For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Savior, who is Christ the Lord.”

Oh, the joy! The blessed, holy noise of that multitude of heavenly hosts singing! My heart almost faints within me.

And, so I run. I run with the shepherds to the manger to see this thing which God has done, and I marvel that it was done for me. Glory to God in the highest, indeed!

I may never get to Hawaii, and that’s okay.

New in Christ

A new year.  A new beginning.  A fresh start.  All sorts of thoughts, dreams, and adventures await.  Is this the year we get pregnant?  Is this the year we adopt?  All sorts of things lie ahead for each one of us.  Would we want to know what we each day holds?  Would we rather be surprised?

One thing that should not surprise the believer in Christ is the fact that she is the Lord’s child.  In Holy Baptism, she has been given a fresh start to each and every day.  Water was poured over her in baptism, and all her sins of thought, word, and deed were drowned.  She is given a clean slate.  She is forgiven of all sins.

I take great comfort in knowing that I am forgiven.  You see, I already have lots of hopes and desires for the year.  I know what should happen.  I’ve got it all mapped out.  I have plans to grow my family through adoption.  I know that my dear friend would love to get pregnant and have a baby.  I think I have all the answers.  My thoughts are sinful because I’ve dictated to the Lord what He should do.  I’m wrapped up in myself.  For those thoughts, I confess my sins and ask for forgiveness.  Then I pray that my life would always reflect the life of a baptized Christian.  Will my thoughts edify the body of Christ?  Will my words benefit my neighbor?  Will my actions demonstrate my love for self or others?

Each day is a gift from the Lord.  When I am given the gift of a new day, I pray that it might be a blessing to my husband, my daughter, and my neighbor.

This is a new year.  Dear sister, begin each day in the name of the Triune God – the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.  You, who are baptized into Christ, are given a new beginning.  Let us rejoice in the gift of new life in Christ.

Collect: January 1, 2012

It is our privilege to pray with and for you.  If you would like to submit a personal petition to be included in our prayers, please send your request via the “Submit a Question” page on this site.  

Collect of the Day: 

Let us pray…

Dear Heavenly Father, through Holy Baptism You called us to be Your own dear children.  You have forgiven all of our sins in this holy gift.  Your crucified and arisen Son Jesus intercedes for us now in heaven.   Grant that our lives may daily give proof that the Holy Spirit is working within us.  Give us faith to go out with good courage, not knowing where we go but trusting that You are leading us and loving us every step of the way; through Jesus Christ our Lord, who lives and reigns with You and the Holy Spirit, one God, now and forever.  Amen.

Is Our Family Complete?

Erica Heinecke reminds us in her reflection on “Advent and Barrenness” that though we may feel our present family size is incomplete, we are presently complete in Christ’s family:

I wonder if I am capable of writing such an article [on barrenness] because with two children, I am obviously not barren. I do know, though, that I have struggled mightily with what God desires for my life in regards to our family size. Is our family complete?  Every month, I wait to see what God has in store for me. It is frustrating. My cycles are not regular so I am left hoping that maybe this time, I might finally be pregnant again. Maybe this time, it is not my crazy body, but a gift of God. I am itchy with anticipation until I feel confident enough in the time lapse to actually take a pregnancy test, followed by the nervous dance that lasts as little as 3 minutes, but no longer than ten. My feet start to drag when no pink line is there to quicken my steps. Again, it is a disappointment in my book, but that is because I forget that God is writing my book. He has written my name in His book, the Book of Life. Lord, not my will, but yours.

I look forward to the time when we are released from this world of pain, of longing, and of sadness. I rejoice that one day I will celebrate with the angels and all the saints. I find comfort in the truth of God’s Word and in knowing that there will be a day when those I know who have experienced truly awful losses will be at the feet of God with the children they lost in miscarriage and tragedy. We will sing together, as the angels heralded the shepherds, “Glory to God in the highest!” Our family will be complete, and perfect.    

As we live out our time on Earth, we struggle to find peace and contentment. I feel like a baby would make all the difference in the world to me; but that is not the truth. A baby is my desire, but only Jesus Christ, the One born of a virgin, would change the world forever. He came to live a perfect life and then to sacrifice Himself on the cross before rising again in victory over death. In His family, I am complete. Advent reminds me of Whose I am in baptism; I belong to this Baby Christ, to the Holy Child.  

Erica Heinecke

The Fact of the Matter Is…

Kelly Stout reminds us in her reflection on “Advent and Barrenness” that we do not wait for the Lord in vain:

There are many ways the word “wait” is used in the English language. I could be “waiting” for a bus, as in expecting something to happen soon that I know will eventually happen. I could be “waiting” for the day I pay off my student loans, as in looking forward to something spectacular. I could be “waiting” for my friend to arrive off the plane at an airport, as in being in a state of readiness for something to occur.

As a couple who lost our first child in a miscarriage, had our second child through domestic infant adoption, and had our third child through conception and birth, we have learned to use the word “wait” sparingly. It can have a glaringly awful connotation to those going through any of these life events.

“Just wait, it will happen for you eventually!” – A comment said by many (who mean well) to those who are barren or have lost a child to miscarriage (when in fact, it may very well not happen).

“Now that your documents are completed, we just wait for the courts to approve this.” – A sentence every adoptive parent trembles at in anticipation of having an adoption finalized.

“We need to wait for the next ultrasound results before we can make any recommendations.” – A scary statement for any couple “waiting” for a child through pregnancy.

The fact of the matter is – sometimes waiting is excruciating.

In Advent, we wait for our Lord. “Wait,” as in expecting something to happen soon that I know will eventually happen…as in looking forward to something spectacular… as in being in a state of readiness for something to occur.  Oh great, again, we wait. But why does the wait of Advent have such a different connotation than the waiting associated with miscarriage, barrenness, adoption, and birth? That is simple.

First, there are no questions about what WILL happen. I don’t have to wonder what is coming at the end of this wait. I know that my Lord – the baby born in a manger, the God man who died on a cross for me, the creator of heaven and earth, the God who gave me all three of my wonderful children (one being a child I am waiting to meet someday) – I know that my Lord IS coming. The assurance of what WILL happen is a gift from our Lord.

Secondly (and the best part about this type of waiting), my Lord already comes to me through Word and Sacrament. I don’t have to endure this wait without Him. His faith is brought to me by hearing His Word. His true body and blood are present for me in Communion. Kneeling at His table, I have a piece of the heaven I have been waiting for all this time. The Christ Child we speak of during Advent provides comfort, forgiveness, and eternal life through His death and resurrection. These gifts are enough to sustain me through all the waits I have in this life.

To make the moment at the Communion rail even sweeter, I also know that my child who endured an earthly death is there with the angels, the archangels, all the company of heaven, and me.  We are joined in perfect communion with all the saints.

The fact of the matter is – sometimes waiting is heavenly.

Kelly Stout

Promises That Bring Eternal Life

Heidi Sias reminds us in her reflection on “Advent and Barrenness” that though God does not promise all women will bear children, He does make promises – and He keeps them:

“Elizabeth was barren, and both were advanced in years.” In Luke 1, we hear the story of Zechariah and Elizabeth. God made a promise to them that they would bear a son, John. John was to be the forerunner for Christ, and he leaped in the womb when he heard Mary, the mother of our Lord, approach with a greeting. Even as a baby in the womb, John recognized the advent of our King. This was John’s first proclamation of the Messiah, whom Mary carried in her womb, as he recognized this babe who had come to be the sacrifice for the sins of the world and bring salvation to all who believe.

When God makes promises, He keeps them. Elizabeth had a promise from God to finally bear a child even in her old age, however women today don’t have that same promise. They may bear a child, or they may not bear a child. Those who are barren suffer because of the broken world of sin that we live in where everything doesn’t go perfectly. There’s not always a “happy ending” when it comes to having a child of their own. Women who have children of their own also suffer because of the broken world of sin through the heartache that comes with raising a child when everything doesn’t go perfectly. Each woman has her own cross to bear. Though God does not today promise women that they will bear children, He still has many promises for us–promises that bring eternal life for all who believe.

First, in 1 Corinthians 12, God promises that those in Christ are members of one body. In this we depend on one other, rejoice with one another, mourn with one another and comfort one another. Through this, barren women have many children in the family of God. We care for one another and help one another, especially children who need this help. Though a barren woman does not have a flesh and blood child to care for, she does have children in the body of Christ, family, godchildren, orphans and those who are needy, whom she gets to care for as a servant of Christ.

Most importantly however, everyone who is in Christ has His promise of salvation. This includes those who are barren and those who are fruitful. This promise is for you! Elizabeth says to Mary upon her visit, “blessed is she who believed that there would be a fulfillment of what was spoken to her from her Lord.” Women today are also blessed in believing this promise given to us in God’s Word. Jesus Christ fulfilled this promise when He took on flesh and came down to earth as a baby. He grew up to die on a cross. He rose from the dead to conquer death once and for all. He has won salvation for us, this tiny babe of Bethlehem. We can lift up our heads with confidence in His victory for us, as we through faith await His return in the second advent of our King. On this last day He will take us to be with Him, where He will wipe away every tear from our eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore. (Revelation 21:4) Come, Lord Jesus, come quickly!

Heidi Sias

The Gift of Forgiveness

Jennifer Larson reminds us in her reflection on “Advent and Barrenness” that the most important gift we receive from God is not children but the forgiveness of our sins:

Today, I underwent a diagnostic laparoscopy procedure in hopes of discovering the reason for my excruciating pelvic and back pain during my menstrual cycle, which is now occurring every other week. I recently met with my primary care physician and then an obgyn who both felt the pain may be caused by endometriosis.  The good news is that [the procedure] may answer why we have yet to conceive.

At this point, we are not certain if we can conceive or not. We know my husband has a low sperm count, I have innumerable fibroids, and we’ve been trying for two years.  However, we are hopeful.

The timing of this experience got me thinking…Not only does this surround Advent and ultimately Christmas, but it also follows the blessing of the birth of my niece, Clara, on December 7th. Sometimes, it helps to have these reminders to focus me on what I am so very grateful for.

Another recent blessing for us was our engagement this spring, the counseling we received from our pastor, the opportunity to live apart again prior to marriage, the gift of being forgiven, and the final culmination – our marriage.  We repented and have been forgiven for living together prior to marriage.  We are now able to focus on our marriage and our continued hope for a family with this peace.  However, none of this would have been possible if Jesus had not been born.  This is a time for preparation and celebration. I will take comfort in focusing on this and rejoicing in Christ’s birth.

The doctor met with me after the procedure to reveal that the cause of my pain was not endometriosis. Instead, I have a large fibroid that is fighting to win a size contest in comparison to my uterus.  I have an appointment for December 29th to have it removed by a fertility specialist.  Until then, I plan to pray for the courage to stay emotionally strong and to thank and praise God for one of the most important gifts one can receive – forgiveness through Jesus Christ.

Jennifer Larson

(Let us pray…Heavenly Father, in this hour of anxiety we pray for Your divine presence and aid. As the time of Jennifer’s operation draws near, she needs a staff on which to lean. To whom shall she turn but to You, gracious Lord? You have created, redeemed, and sanctified her. She is Your baptized and beloved child in Christ. You will not forsake her as she cries to You for strength in her trouble and pain. We confess to You our unworthiness, our many weaknesses, and our transgressions. You mercifully forgive us for the sake of the sacrifice of Your dear Son, our precious Savior. Give wisdom and skill to the doctors and nurses, that all they do will bring about a speedy recovery for Jennifer in keeping with Your good, fatherly will. We commend her into Your hands. While she slumbers and sleeps, watch over her. Take every fear out of her heart. Comfort her with the assurance of her salvation through the blood of Your Son, Jesus Christ, and grant her a faith that clings only to Him, who is the great and eternal cure for all sin, sickness, and death. Your name we praise, O Lord of life and death. Hear our prayer for the sake of Your dear Son. Amen.*)

* The Lutheran Book of Prayer, 232-3.