Author: Katie Schuermann

I believe the Holy Scriptures to be the inerrant Word of God, inspired by the Holy Spirit and fulfilled in Christ Jesus, our risen Lord and Savior. Therefore, I have faith that children are exactly what God tells us they are in His Word: a heritage to receive from Him. Children are not a prize for me to earn, a commodity for me to demand, nor an idol for me to worship. They are a gift which my Heavenly Father only has the privilege to bestow and to withhold. If God makes me a mother, then I can receive His good gift of a child with all joy and confidence in His love for me. If God does not make me a mother, then I can still know with all joy and confidence that God loves me completely in His perfect gift of the Child Jesus whose sacrifice on the cross atoned for my sin and reconciled me to my Heavenly Father. I am God’s own child, purchased and won by the blood of Jesus, and God promises in His Word that He will work all things - even my barrenness - for my eternal good. For this reason, I can in faith confess that my barrenness is a blessing.

“How can you be certain?”

Question Submitted: I read the following statement in an answer you gave to another submitted question: “God calls doctors to diagnose and treat illnesses, not to risk the lives of innocent children for the sake of their parents’ happiness.” Who are you to determine what God calls others to do? How can you be certain they are not called to assist these families in being created?

I think the answer you seek is in the very statement you quote. Take a look at it, again.

“God calls doctors to diagnose and treat illnesses, not to risk the lives of innocent children for the sake of their parents’ happiness.”

Doctors, in the very oath they take before beginning a life of medical service to their community, promise always to help and heal and restore people through their practice of medicine. Never are they intentionally to hurt, harm, or kill their patients, yet this is exactly what happens to most of the children doctors create through the procedure of in vitro fertilization. Not only do doctors grade, test, discard, freeze, selectively terminate, and medically disrespect these genetically whole human beings after their creation, but the children who are finally chosen for attempted implantation stand only a 29.4% chance of surviving implantation. (Don’t take my word for it. Look up the statistics for yourself on WebMD. You can find the implantation success rate stats on page two of this article.)

This means most of these children are created simply to die.

In light of God’s Word (Exodus 20), we all can boldly confess together that God does not call anyone to create children simply to die.

In fact, God’s Word gives us certainty (1 Samuel 2:6) that God does not call anyone to create children, period. He reserves this miraculous gifting for Himself. Children are His blessing spoken over the institution of marriage (Genesis 1:26-28), His gift to give, His heritage to bestow (Psalm 127). And, while God is generous in the giving of His good gifts, nowhere in His Word does He promise the gift of children to every person, neither does His Word bid us to create our own heritage of children where He in His wisdom has not given them. Quite the opposite, God’s Word reveals to us the plight and agony which can result from creating our own heritage of children apart from God’s plan and promise.

“Who are you?” you ask. I am a barren woman who is free in Christ (Galatians 5:13) to seek healing medicine from my doctors for my infertility but not to create and kill children on my own.

But, again, don’t take my word for it. Take another barren woman’s:

“The Lord kills and brings to life;
he brings down to Sheol and raises up.” 1 Samuel 2:6 (ESV)

Creation is God’s business, not ours.

Oh!

I’ve said it. Most likely, you’ve said it, too, at some time or another.

It seems harmless enough, but I now cringe deep down into my pinky toes every time I hear the following phrase said to a woman about to get married:

“When you have children…”

Oh, how easily we assume and make light of God’s gifts! Oh, how effortlessly such words of expectation and law slip past our lips! Oh, how quickly we in the church fail to confess the truth about children to one another!

Children are not a given in marriage. They are God’s blessing spoken over marriage, His heritage to bestow, His gift to give according to His wise will.

“If God blesses you and your husband with the gift of children…”

Yes, that’s better.

You Are Not Alone

Some of you are miscarrying, right now.

Some of you are grieving the anniversary of the death of a precious child in your life.

Some of you are struggling with undiagnosed physical pain that is baffling your doctors.

Some of you are coping with your husband’s recent death.

Some of you are depressed and afraid of what tomorrow might (or might not) bring.

So many of you are suffering, right now, and have asked for our prayers. Well, you’ve got them. Pastor Schuermann wrote this prayer for all of us to pray together today.

Remember your mercy, O Lord, and your steadfast love,
for they have been from of old.
Remember not the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
according to your steadfast love remember me,
for the sake of your goodness, O Lord!
– Psalm 25:6-7

Let us pray…

O God, from before the foundation of the world You knew me, loved me, and showed me mercy. As I struggle, Lord, give me strength. Remind me daily of Your everlasting love for me. Remind me that I am Your child, adopted into Your heavenly family by grace, for the sake of Jesus. Do not let this cross which You have laid on me overwhelm me. Because You know all things, I will trust You. Lord, have mercy. Amen.

Hold Your Horses

Technology will always move faster than the Church. The infertility medicine industry may insist on creating and freezing embryonic children, but that does not automatically mean the Church should be bullied into adopting and implanting them. She should wait until she can with full, Scriptural confidence say that surrogacy in such a situation is pleasing to God and serves the best interest of her neighbors – all of them, including the statistically doomed 65%.

At the same time, the Church should not be a Levite and cross on the far side of the street from those abandoned to die in the ditch. She should speak on this issue. She should pray for these precious children, advocate for their legal rights, work to stop the creation and freezing of more children outside of the marriage bed in the procedure of IVF, and encourage parents to rescue their children from the freezer.

Help us, Lord God, and save us from our sins, for Jesus’ sake. “Cast us not away from Thy presence, and take not Thy Spirit from us.” Amen.

Secondary Infertility

I met Tender Heart last weekend.

Her flaxen curls billowed around her pixie face in the September sun. Her tears were tiny, shiny glass balls dangling off the cliffs of her cheeks.

“Everyone else at school has brothers and sisters,” she cried. “I’m the only one who doesn’t. All I want is to be a big sister.”

Eight years young, and Tender Heart already knows the sting of barrenness.

My eyes moved to Mother. Silently, patiently she bore with her daughter’s grief, snuggling Tender Heart deep into the safety of her blanket arms. The only trace of her own deep sadness was the quiet network of shiny rivers streaming down her own cheek cliffs.

And I wept in shame.

For I weep for myself in my barrenness, but Mother weeps for her suffering child.

The mother of one bears a double cross.

Just Like You

It almost always happens.

Eighty percent of the time, someone comes up to me after I speak on the topic of barrenness and says, “I have a niece/daughter-in-law/cousin/granddaughter just like you. She and her husband tried for years and years to get pregnant, but– ”

And then I get a pointed look in the eye, almost a gauntlet in a glance thrown down at my feet.

“– they have triplets, now.”

There is an awkward silence. I know the woman before me wants me to ask how such a miracle is possible, how her loved one could possibly have three children when I have none, but I don’t.

She continues, raising her eyebrows in delight as she reveals the secret ingredient in her recipe, “Their doctor worked a miracle for them through IV-something-or-other.”

My answer shocks her. “I’m so sorry to hear that.”

Because I am. All I can think about is whether or not these triplets have any siblings frozen in liquid nitrogen, whether or not their embryonic lives will be as coveted, respected, protected, cared for, and celebrated as the triplets currently sleeping in cribs in a green-and-yellow nursery lovingly decorated with hand-painted trees and animals on the walls.

I get sick to my stomach that we never acknowledge all of the children in such conversations, that our talk about children in general seems fueled by an underlying current of trying to get what we want rather than taking care of our littlest neighbors. When will we start publicly acknowledging that there are more children created through the process of IVF than the ones we see? When will we admit that there are more lives created, discarded, and frozen than the ones we actually want?

So many children…

Please, if you know of anyone who currently has children stored in liquid nitrogen, speak to them. Remind them of their children and their God-given call to parent them. Lovingly urge them to rescue their children from the freezer and attempt implantation. If the cost of such a feat is too high for them to afford, help them with the cost in whatever way you can. If the number of their children is too many for them to parent, help them find an agency who can facilitate adoptions after their children are born.

These children and their parents need our help.

Lord, have mercy on us all.

Day of Salvation

I walked into the Life Center of Redeemer Lutheran Church in Peoria, IL, last night and found this sitting at my place setting.

“Do you know why that’s there?” Sandy asked.

I nodded my head and wrapped my arms around my godmother.

Later that evening, when I stood up to speak to the Women of Redeemer gathered together for their 11th annual kickoff event, I was given the chance to share the good news with all of them.

“Exactly thirty-five years ago today,” I explained, “my family drove to Redeemer Lutheran Church in Peoria, Illinois, in a bit of a frenzy. You see, we were running late. My mama had just fed me a healthy breakfast of mother’s milk, and I, in grateful return, had filled my diaper moments before leaving for church.

I suppose my parents could have just stuffed me in the car and hoped for the best, but September 10, 1978, was not just any Sunday. It was my day of salvation, and I was dressed for the occasion. My pink, plump skin was packaged in baptismal white, and my mama knew better than to risk a stain.

So, the Church waited for me. You waited…and then you stayed to witness my rebirth into Christ through water and the Word, and I thank you. Thank you, Women of Redeemer, for standing up that morning and proclaiming to me God’s true nature in the Apostles Creed and praying over me Jesus’ own words in the Lord’s Prayer. Thank you for witnessing my Baptism and for continuing to pray for me all these years as you promised. I was made a Christian in your midst, and it is such a privilege to come home and speak to you today.”

What a blessing it was to celebrate my baptismal birthday with the very women who witnessed my Day of Salvation. Thank you, Women of Redeemer.

Thank you, Sandy.

“Entrust Your Days and Burdens”

Paul Gerhardt’s hymns speak straight to the heart of the cross-bearer. For this reason, they are excellent resources to memorize.

When next you are called to do battle against worry, doubt, and anxiety in your barrenness, pull stanzas 2, 3, and 4 of “Entrust Your Days and Burdens” out of your arsenal. Actually, pull them all out.

Entrust your days and burdens
To God’s most loving hand;
He cares for you while ruling
The sky, the sea, the land.
For He who guides the tempests
Along their thund’rous ways
Will find for you a pathway
And guide you all your days.

Rely on God your Savior
And find your life secure.
Make His work your foundation
That your work may endure.
No anxious thought, no worry,
No self-tormenting care
Can win your Father’s favor;
His heart is moved by prayer.

Take heart, have hope, my spirit,
And do not be dismayed;
God helps in every trial
And makes you unafraid.
Await His time with patience
Through darkest hours of night
Until the sun you hoped for
Delights your eager sight.

Leave all to His direction;
His wisdom rules for you
In ways to rouse your wonder
At all His love can do.
Soon He, His promise keeping,
With wonder-working pow’rs
Will banish from your spirit
What gave you troubled hours.

O blesséd heir of heaven,
You’ll hear the song resound
Of endless jubilation
When you with life are crowned.
In your right hand your maker
Will place the victor’s palm,
And you will thank Him gladly
With heaven’s joyful psalm.

Our hands and feet, Lord, strengthen;
With joy our spirits bless
Until we see the ending
Of all our life’s distress.
And so throughout our lifetime
Keep us within Your care
And at our end then bring us
To heav’n to praise You there.

“Entrust Your Days and Burdens” (Lutheran Service Book, 754)

“The God of a Self-Directed Future”

Thank you, Pastor Esget, for harvesting this gem from author Russell Moore.

Well Pleased

It’s so tempting to believe that all of this suffering is a sign of God’s disfavor. It’s hard not to think that God must be angry or displeased with us in some way. Why else would He allow our wombs to stay closed when He, with His very own Word, can call light into existence, heal the blind, raise Lazarus from the dead, and speak Christ into Mary’s virgin womb?

But we know that suffering in this life is not a sign of God’s displeasure with us, His beloved children.

How do we know this to be true?

Because Jesus suffered more than any of us, and God said of Him, “This is my beloved Son, with whom I am well pleased.”

We are baptized into that beloved Son, and God is now well-pleased with us, too. God loves us in His Son, and there is nothing – not even barrenness – that can separate us from God’s love and blessed favor.

We simply suffer along with Jesus, as our mortified flesh awaits its raising.

Let us suffer here with Jesus
And with patience bear our cross.
Joy will follow all our sadness;
Where He is, there is no loss.
Though today we sow no laughter,
We shall reap celestial joy;
All discomforts that annoy
Shall give way to mirth hereafter.
Jesus, here I share Your woe;
Help me there Your joy to know.*